chinese assload

A special/scary type of lapdance, typically found in underground Asian bars:
A very large Asian woman, sometimes dressed as a sumo wrestler, who gives a lapdance to a man. The dancer throws a load of fried rice on the man's lap, then begins to give him a dance, which makes a chemical reaction in the dancer's asshole and inflates the ass like a balloon.
Sometimes performed by Asian men to women
"Mark went to China and hired a sumo wrestler to give him a chinese assload, but then he realized it was just Jamie!"

"I hear a chinese assload is the best lapdance you can ever receive at that bar in Chinatown. Better than any whore by far!"
by MMjr April 05, 2009
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crunchy grandpa

When you eat Captain Crunch with whiskey instead of milk. Usually influenced by a hangover.
"Zack slept over my house after the party, and when I woke up, I saw him eating a bowl full of crunchy grandpa. Freaking gross"
by MMjr April 24, 2008
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rusty lawnmower

"Uh oh, my pubes just got eaten by a rusty lawnmower"
by MMjr April 21, 2008
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metal dracula

When a male goes to zip up pants, and the zipper gets stuck on your dick
"Oh man, I just got a metal dracula. @#$#%!!!!!!!!!!!!"
by MMjr April 21, 2008
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jinxed toad

when a man is having sex, and misses that girl's asshole, stabbing her buttcheek with his penis and fractures it, and screams
"Mark and Jamie were doing some hardcore sex scene in a porn movie, but Mark totally pulled a jinxed toad and really fucked up"

"AHHH! JINXED TOAD! SHIT!"
by MMjr April 05, 2009
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2 by 4

The art of performing sexual intercourse on a 4 legged animal, via the butt hole.
Call a "2 by 4" because a human has 2 legs, where as animals have 4
"Dude, Mark totally performed a successful 2 by 4 on Jamie's dog last night"
by MMjr April 21, 2008
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6 month rule

After a couple has been dating for 6 months, it is now safe for them to have sex, and not regret it.
"Mark and Jamie had sex!? But they forgot the 6 month rule! Oh shit!"
by MMjr February 20, 2009
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