bertie

Someone who makes up farfetched stories and events which ‘happened to him’
When confronted about this he will get very stressed and insist the event did happen, if you still say it didn’t he will go on to be abusive.

Someone who falls in love every 5 minutes with miscellaneous girls over the internet having not met them, or even spoken to them for long.

A user.

Someone who has their head so far up their own arse they cannot see the light, yet continue munching on their own shit until they believe it.

Someone who insists they are fit and awesome at life; yet could do with losing a few pounds and learning to spell properly.

Someone who likes to believe they have a large female 'fan base' and are quite simply 'the sex'. Yet, unknown to him most girls think he is a total twat.

guy: "omg mate i got mugged twice today, then hit by a car and stabbed"
mate: "dude, stop being such a bertie"

lad: "i dont know what to do!! i have all these girls after me, who shall i choose? they all think im so hawt!"
girl: "right...you're such a bertie!"

*who in their right mind would find him in the slightest attractive? arrogant cocky bastard, he's such a bertie*

by don't care? January 28, 2008

a bert

1. derogatory term used for someone who can't "get any"

might have glasses, wear hockey jerseys all the time, have in-depth conversations with teachers, and may possibly be jewish

You couldnt even get any from that prostitute after you offered $100? You're such a bert.

by Rasheed Scott September 1, 2008

bert

Bert. Other wise known as breaking of the wind.

The dog berted 5 or 6 times yesterday.

by I'm you father July 29, 2008

Bert

V. To utilize inappropriate materials and methods to repair a damaged object.

Term originated to describe the quality of work done by a friend's father - Bert covered their whole roof with duct tape to seal a leak instead of just replacing the shingles.

That guy totally Berted that roof - who would ever think that someone would use actually use $300 worth of duct tape to fix a roof leak?

by Bert's Neighbor September 13, 2006

q-bert

Slang term for a quarter pound of marijuana.

Meet me at the spot with a q-bert.

by Johnny Tats October 31, 2007

bert

a nameless kid at a party.

When doing a girl anal you pull out and leave a shit stain inbetween the eyebrows...Like a unibrow

Yo bert how much beer you got?

Yo bitch I gave you a Bert.

Artie Sanchez gave Joe Cool a Bert.

by Ayo Mo'Connell March 22, 2008

bert mccracken

definition:me, myself, i

background: uh.. religious and crappy..

when i wake up in the morning and look in the mirror.

by gummy_bear April 24, 2005