matthew sgroi

"The Rat King"

"He who swims in nutella and eats only the whitest of bread." - Matthew Sgroi

by Tonalp Drumd November 12, 2016

Jacob Matthews

Sexy
amazing
funny
interesting
fun
uniqure
gets mad easy

falls hard but loves great
gets hurt alot
sweet heart
loveible
happy most the time

a:whos your bf?

b: Jacob matthews

a: omfg, you know hes like the best guy traits ever?

by white chicksssssssss November 20, 2011

Matthewed

An eroticism whereby your girlfriend screams your best mate's name instead of yours during intercourse. This eroticism evolved after a man called Simon wanted his wife to cheat without actually cheating. He asked her to scream "Matthew" to satisfy his desire without the heartbreak.

Mostly exclamations such as, "Oh Matthew!" but/or possibly "Oh Simon/Boyfriend, Matthew does!"

I was Matthewed last night.

by WilliamEvans October 8, 2011

Matthew Humphries

A man who lived amongst the albanian rebels in the war of 5079 BC, where robot super mutants were led by none other than the infamous Kenny fucking Powers. Matthew Humphries led his human duck people to peace on earth after 347 grueling years of gory battle. After the war was over Matthew S. Humphries returned to Valhalla for 7,073 years of feast and slumber. Some believe he will be reborn in the year of 1994 as a mortal, to save the earth and lead his human army against the perverse grasps of the astronaut llama invaders from pluto.

In the final battle of 5079 Matthew Humphries through a mechano-spear through Kenny Powers loveless heart.

by Kushpig December 2, 2011

the carpet matches the drapes

Hair and Pubes Must Match...DUH!

Hey baby...Do you know that the carpet matches the drapes?

by The Boy Who fucked your girl January 19, 2018

Dave Matthews Band

Dave Matthews Band is a talented band that took root in Charlottesville, Virginia during the early nineties. Known for astonishing live performances, the band grew a cult following as diverse as the members, themselves. Word first spread of the “tripping billies” from Virginia through bootleg live recordings and counter-counter music festivals in 92. Featuring a discography that expands on every emotion, the blend incorporates a mix of jazz, folk, and jam-band. Benefiting from classically educated musicians, the mind-expanding arrangements have inspired music majors and instructors alike. The setlist is changed every night, meaning the band has dozens of intricate songs on memory, allowing 4 day-weekend performances. Though the band’s personalities are charming, humble and inclusive, trendhumpers go out of their way to piss on these guys. For some, it’s an intolerance of all things masculine; for others, hatred is fueled by the stereotypes of DMB followers. One critique being how bland, stupid and generic the band is-for this crowd, two radio edits are enough to ignore the 50+ other gems. Don’t be surprised if the david bowie loyalist in the purple v-neck quotes pitchfork media as a means of establishing his or her supremacy over your twelve years as a school-instructed musician. When defending Dave, speak of how eco-friendly the band is and moved on-you were deemed bro from the start but planted a little dave seed, you may have.

Hipster: Hey man, what you listening to?

Cellist: The Dave Matthews Band! I just got their ne...

Hipster: O no, bro (walks away)

by pascalziffhume January 20, 2011

Matches Are Free

A statement made when an object is of no use or worthless. Can also be used as a derogatory term towards someones possesions.

Mike asked me what I thought of his new car.
I told him Matches Are Free...

by Lenny C October 30, 2007