uncle jared

The Jewish version of an Uncle Tom. Based on Jared Kushner and his self-loathing brand of being Jewish.

"How can Eli, a Jewish Man, date a neo-nazi? He is such an Uncle Jared."

by RNJD June 20, 2018

jared

a stupid fucker who can't even get dressed in the morning.
he likes hitting on married women and invariably gets beaten by their husbands.
he is usually retarded and likes literally eating shit.

that man just beat his wife's jared.

by gerard_capshen123 November 23, 2013

Jared

He works at Subway and has a "Five Dollar Foot Long".

Jared works at Subway

by Idiot801 November 11, 2016

Jared Co.

This is what they refer to as "the one who lusts for Aidan. Has been known to stalk and harrass small children at pre-schools also and a fan of large insertions.

Hey kid , you look like a young Aidan , wanna come back to my place and watch me stick this coke bottle in my ass??

by Habibqaqeqsqede December 13, 2004

Jared Hance

a fucking bitch

Jared Hance is so cute. That fucking bitch.

by rhsstudent November 20, 2014

Jared

The stupid ass Jew everyone's cool with. That kids got more problems than a mental patient. Usually known as the drug dealer because he's getting rid of all those prescriptions mommy has him on. Nice guy though

"Damn Jareds drunk again"?

by Autobon946 March 31, 2017

jared

someone who has achieved the mastery of gayness

someone you would stride to be gay

a manifestation of homoseaxuallity

basically the gay-est nigga God could create

I took jared's girlfriend ... oh well

My wife is hates jared and things he is a homophobic nigger

by jared gasmena December 6, 2017