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Poop

by SLIMY?VR March 4, 2022
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zoom poop

When you mute and turn off the camera in a Zoom to go poop really fast so no one notices.
I was in this long 2 hour meeting and had to Zoom Poop twice. Glad no one noticed.
by secnewt July 26, 2022
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Poop

Poop-lactose intolerant variant

Beginning:
The first hour is the easiest. You eat away with no repercussions. Your stomach starts to feel bloated. Regret sets in, but it’s far too late.

Middle of the night:
You wake up to pressurized air in your ass. It builds and builds and you risk it, just air. Mere seconds later, the most toxic, gut wrenching smell goes into what was your nose. One whiff strong enough to put down an elephant. The second it hits your nose, you get sent into shock. Paralyzed, you’re have to smell even more.

Throughout the day:
The farts smell worse and worse. A constant smell of radioactive farts. You feel the solid shit flow through your intestines. It holds back the liquid shit behind it.

Its time:
You feel the final solid shit reach your asshole. On the way to the bathroom, you mentally prepare yourself for hell. You sit down, bracing your mind and body. The shit comes out and liquid mixed with air shoots out after. Splattering the whole inside of the toilet. Any harder, the toilet would explode. The noises coming out your ass compete with your mouth. The shrieks you let out make your neighbors think your are being killed. After you expelled the haunted shit, you grab your toilet paper supply. You wipe, and wipe, and the toilet paper comes out no cleaner than before. After awhile, you ass is finally clean. But it’s wise to take a shower.

Aftermath:

You get over this traumatizing event, but deep down, you know it will happen again. :)
I’m lactose intolerant, but I still ate ice cream. I had to go through the “poop- lactose intolerant variant” event.
by Dairy lover July 15, 2023
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Poop resume

noun
The scourge peer review sessions. Much like the poop dollar of Workaholics, a poop resume is a prank in which an individual tricks another into picking up their resume, the underside of which has been at some earlier time smeared in poop. Much to the dismay of the individual, they often realize this after they have handled it
"Hey man could you look over my resume for me"
"Sure thing, hey I like this font is this Times new- "
"POOP RESUME!!!"
by aussieaussie October 15, 2018
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Poop

Hey, bro I just took a fat poop.
by Fred Frenkinston January 22, 2021
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tasty poop

its when you eat so many jelly candies and you been drinking all night, Drank too much and puke.. it comes out as 1 lump like a poop, gives the same sensation, but it comes out your mouth and still tastes sugary sweet.. hence TASTY POOP
got so drunk last night, I ended up having a TASTY POOP
by moodfood June 11, 2023
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poop grouped

"keep your shit together" or "regroup your poop"
Hey, Marty hang in their buddy, keep your poop grouped.
by Annie name September 11, 2020
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