Surface Warfare Officer

Easily the largest community of officers in the United States Navy, SWOs drive ships, launch missiles, oversee safety procedures, control the public affairs outlook of ships, plan tactics, conduct safety inspections, make sure the engines are running smoothly, stand watches, maintain weapons caches, ensure smooth power flow, throw everyone around them under a bus so they can sleep and/or get promoted, cry nonstop, attempt to commit suicide but fail because they have absolutely no energy, and much more. Basically, they do everything on a ship with the notable exceptions of: sleep, have free time, and enjoy their life.

Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.

Navy Pilot: Hey guys, wanna go to a bar after work?
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)

by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011

whale surfing

Metaphor for when a midget porks a humungous woman, normally in the early hours after a drinking bout at a night club.

Look at the state of Briggsy. Has he been Whale Surfing again?

by Des Lynam's Love-Gland September 5, 2006

bed surfer

A semi homeless person that sleeps with people for a place to stay and someone to mooch on for a few weeks until being kicked out and moving to the next person.

Halfway between a "bed jumper" and a "sofa surfer" -- a person that shops for apartments in a local bar.

This girl was a from out of state, a bed surfer, who'd been "staying with a friend" till he kicked her out, now she was looking for someone with drugs and a place to stay. She got a little work every now and then, I'm sure some of it was in the back seat of a car.

by eakerma February 9, 2006

a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces

An alternate way of saying the phrase, "smoke and mirrors".

Hey Jake!
Didjya see that magician levitating that car?
It was all just a cigarette & multiple highly-reflective glass or metal surfaces!

by Telephony September 12, 2014

surfer

A person who feels like a bad day in the water is ten times better than a good day out of it.

Surfer surfs surf surfericiously.

by ripcurlgirl September 15, 2004

subway surfer

A person(mostly a graffiti artist or hobo) who travels the subway network most of the time lives there.

"It was that damn subway surfer again."

by That guy 87 February 5, 2019

surfing the net

Looking up anything on the internet. Going on websites

Jess was surfing the net.

by XXX February 1, 2005