Weight machines

Machines used by women and men that are too afraid or misinformed to do an actual workout

I'm gonna go hit the calf raise and forearm weight machines even though I can barely do even a girl pushup.

by Real Fitness February 3, 2012

chair weight

A guy named from Toronto who got canned for making LD calls out east and Toronto, and found every avenue to not do his job

"This guy knows how to do nothing effectively" what a chair weight!!

by bannercracker November 22, 2010

security weight

Someone who puts on weight while in a relationship because they are not single anymore and looking for someone

Jeez, she sure has put on some security weight since you two started dating

by Gustilo April 14, 2014

pastry weight

The weight gain through the consumption of copious amounts of Hungarian pasty. Typically occurs during the holiday season.

I gained 20 pounds of pastry weight last Christmas

by Grimshackle December 24, 2016

Weight

That last time I pulled more than my own weight I was exploited by the whores who turned a group home for the disabled into a retard sex cult.

Hym "Yeah, no... We're not doing that. I WAS helping and what happened? Called a fucking plagiarists because I don't cite (explicitly) the names of people who prattle on about their right to not associate with me (Even though I was denied the right to not associate with the participants of retard sex cult). I'm helping everyone. Indiscriminately. For free. Need a Billion dollar movie? Here you go! Want to boost your ratings in a way that correlates 1 to 1 with dialogue I wrote? Sure, no problem. Need dialogue to make your narcissistic superman more compelling? 'He was worth more than all of you' Sound familiar? No? That was the thing I said about Andy! How about some allies? You need those? How about the quintessential smug liberal atheist? Wonder why he switched sides almost over night... 🤔 Does the world's most famous atheist not do that anymore? What happened there? Am I the dragon the most qualified psychologist on the planet imitates? Neat! Oh, no? I'm being hoisted by my own petard? Oh, ok. I see how that works. Does your ethical framework not apply to me? Oooh right I see. Cool. That's integrity. 'This is how people should BE in the world... Unless you're dealing with someone you don't like... Then just do whatever it takes to spite them...' It's not that I'm not carrying my weight; it's that I'm carrying the goddamn team and nobody's reciprocating because me losing is more important than everyone winning."

by Hym Iam August 24, 2022

Windy City Winter Weight

The additional weight that people inexplicably, yet inevitably, put on after moving to Chicago.

Man, he really packed on the Windy City Winter Weight. Must’ve gone up 15-20 pounds since moving.

by Shrekenator February 14, 2024

blessed weight loss

The phenomenon of continuously losing weight (e.g., 0.2 kg per day) despite a sedentary lifestyle, attributed to maintaining a healthy diet, often viewed as a blessing or sign of divine favor.

Even though I've been glued to my computer all day, this blessed weight loss feels like a gift from above since I've always been watching what I eat!

by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025