Wichita Falls

The City of Wichita Falls is inconveniently located in the North East corner of the Buttcrack/Armppit area of North Texas. A misnomer, the town doesn't feature falls, having been destroyed in the 1800's by the forward thinking settlers of this area. However, it's not a total misnomer, since the town's most striking attraction is a brown-water fountain, stylized as a waterfall, which stinks of dead fish and is situated next to an interstate highway. Wichita Falls is an economically dead city that is home to sparse commerce and industry; mostly held intact by an Air Force base. The city has several "husks of knowledge," or empty high-rises, Sheppard Air Force Base, whose global presence mostly stays on base, a workforce with post-secondary educational attainment below the national average, and a community spirit centered around Budweiser, country music and chasing decade-old metropolitan trends. The Kemp Center for the Arts is home to the Arts Council who exclusively produces plays branded by Disney since the local populace lacks the cultural refinement to watch any performance with which they're unfamiliar. The Symphony Orchestra plays every few months and their shows are advertised in the local paper, after each show. Dallas-Fort Worth area, & Oklahoma City are within a few hours drive and are probably where you should live instead, if you are set on living in Texas or Oklahoma. That said, the people, the city, and sights are worthy of a visit, but not worthy of a return.

Arlen sucks and Wichita Falls rules! Do you know why? Because I can be in the great state of Oklahoma in five minutes. Go Sooners!

by ds7202 April 28, 2022

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witchita lineman

A Wichita Lineman is a twist on the classic Cherokee Chinstrap with a gravy chaser. Instead of the woman farting into a jar she strikes a gong with the man's testicles and then claps her hands three times.

She asked for a witchita lineman, that's when I knew I found my soul mate.

by NunayoBidness August 11, 2017

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