The Son of God sent down to the world of the living to purify the sins of the world and remind people of the scriptures. He died on a cross so that we could be forgiven. Some would denounce Jesus as a fag, but if that is what you think, I truly pity you. Some denounce Jesus by claiming that there is no God. I forgive you, but I will state one thing: if there was no God, all things would be possible.
When Jesus died on the cross, the blood from his wounds flowed like a healing ointment to cleanse us of our sins, just a rubbing alchohol cleanses a wound.
by da outkast February 17, 2005
1. The fictional guy that gives a lot of people a way to discriminate against others and pretty much do whatever they want. He is often blamed for trajedies; otherwise known as a scapegoat. The religion based off him also gives many unstable people a way to handle the fact that science has not discovered the origin of every fucking little thing. This religion also has created a booming industry: anything from greeting cards, to bumper stickers, to churches who provide bums with jobs/an income they otherwise wouldnt have gotten (aka ministers). it is rumoured that "rome wasn't built in a day, but christianity was written in an hour" (thanks jimi)
2. Often used as a curse word much like, "fuck" or "shit"
2. Often used as a curse word much like, "fuck" or "shit"
1. "do you believe in evolution?"
"oh no, jesus/god created every little atom in the world!"
"get a grip, who the fuck would care enough to create the billions of atoms to make one idiot like you?"
2. "jesus christ! six flags over jesus is full of idiots!"
"oh no, jesus/god created every little atom in the world!"
"get a grip, who the fuck would care enough to create the billions of atoms to make one idiot like you?"
2. "jesus christ! six flags over jesus is full of idiots!"
by jade eyes April 12, 2006
Jesus was way cool. Everybody like Jesus.
Everybody wanted to hang out with him.
Anything he wanted to do, he did.
He turned water into wine, and if he had wanted to,
He could have turned wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine,
or vitamin pills into amphetamines.
He walked on the water and swam on the land.
He would tell these stories and people would listen.
He was really cool.
If you were blind, or lame, you just went to Jesus and he would put his
hands on you and you would be healed.
That's so cool.
He could have played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could have told the future.
He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could have scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could have danced better than Baryshnikov.
Jesus would have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.
Jesus told people to eat his body and drink his blood.
That's so cool. Jesus was so cool.
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was, so they killed him.
But then he rose from the dead! He rose from the dead, did a little dance, and went up to heaven. I mean, that's so cool. No wonder there are so many Christians.
Everybody wanted to hang out with him.
Anything he wanted to do, he did.
He turned water into wine, and if he had wanted to,
He could have turned wheat into marijuana, sugar into cocaine,
or vitamin pills into amphetamines.
He walked on the water and swam on the land.
He would tell these stories and people would listen.
He was really cool.
If you were blind, or lame, you just went to Jesus and he would put his
hands on you and you would be healed.
That's so cool.
He could have played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could have told the future.
He could have baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could have scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could have danced better than Baryshnikov.
Jesus would have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.
Jesus told people to eat his body and drink his blood.
That's so cool. Jesus was so cool.
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was, so they killed him.
But then he rose from the dead! He rose from the dead, did a little dance, and went up to heaven. I mean, that's so cool. No wonder there are so many Christians.
by John S. Hall March 04, 2003
a mythological figure which is central to christianity.
there's no real evidence that jesus existed, in fact the whole jesus story seems to be based on older pagan myths.
there's no real evidence that jesus existed, in fact the whole jesus story seems to be based on older pagan myths.
by beeba March 01, 2005
The Way to GOD. No man comes to the Father but by Me. If you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. You will experience a supernatural spiritual transformation called being "born again." The World and Organised Church ridicules this experience because they have never had it happen to them and they never will. If you are willing to lose your life in this world so that you may find Eternal Life( ZOE, the Divine nature), and if you are willing to die to your self so that CHRIST may live through you, then you should begin to seek first the Kingdom of GOD (righteousness, peace, and joy in the HOLY SPIRIT), for it shall be added unto you. Salvation (being translated out of this fallen state of being we find ourselves in in this fallen World) isn't just saying "the majic phrase that pays" and then you get "your eternal fire insurance policy." That is the deception the Organised Church has deceived well meaning Christians with, that if you just repeat after me then you're saved. They take one scripture out of context and forget what the rest of the scriptures say to their own eternal damnation. The quintessential knowledge of the way to GOD is that He resists the proud, arrogant, self sufficient and that He richly gives His grace, love, mercy to those who humble themselves and admit how much they really need Him. Take the red pill and experience the Truth for yourself or take the blue pill and keep living the Lie. The choice is freely given to you by GOD. Jesus said: " I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep and am known of mine." All these words I've written are from the Holy Bible. Check it out for yourself!
Jesus was the example of who GOD is. Greater love hath no man than a man that lays down his life for his friends.
by Terry Rumple June 14, 2007
A man who died 2000 years ago apparently for our sins we havent commited. Worshipped by insane people who believe in magic.
by Tony ramone June 18, 2005
by Chrissy Teagen February 26, 2019