Douchecanoe

a slightly classier (but only slightly) version of a douchebag

That dude is a real douchecanoe, how can he say that?

by xxMaybexx June 6, 2013

Douchecanoe

A drink invented by drunk people, for drunk people. You do a shot of tequila and wash it down with a Jagerbomb. It gets you absolutely hammered, but still contains enough caffeine to keep you going until 4am screaming the greatest hits of Donna Summer into the karaoke machine at your local gay bar.

Mate, you should have been there last night. I had three douchecanoes, a pint of wine, and a line of cheap whizz. I woke up holding an owl. It was well Rotherham.

by The Almighty Ferneth May 14, 2016

Douchecanoe

I used to have just $47 in my bank account.

Now I'm living in Beverly Hills. And you can to for only 3 payments of $997.

(The fake tits are included in the platinum package: 4 payments of $997)

Order today:

Spots are limited to 7 billion people.

Hi, my name is Tai Lopez. Or Lie Topez as my friends call me.

I sucked at doing anything with my life. So instead I decided to be a douchecanoe that gets paid. That's just how I choose to live my life.

by I'm a playa... Email playa February 7, 2017

Douchecanoe

Someone who shops at Express Mens

"Are you wearing a winter vest with loafers?"
"Ugh yeah it was 15% off at express mens"
"What a douchecanoe"

by kenley707 February 26, 2018

Douchecanoe

A person (in this case a dude) who's douchey-ness cannot be drowned out by a fake personality. A douchecanoe typically is condescending to their significant other, flirts with other girls, and has a huge ego. Not the type of people you want to be surrounded by, but once you are wrapped up with a douchecannoe, it's hard to get out. Douchecanoes are often manipulative and try to convince you their mistakes are your fault. If you are with one, good luck.

Guy- Did you hear how he broke up with her?
Girl- Yeah, didn't he end things in the car right after a school dance while she was still in her dress?
Guy-That's what I heard. What a total douchecanoe.

by woofdog13526 April 30, 2020

Douchecanoe

(Noun) An entitled jerk who shows their ass by wasting another person's time.

ie. ghosting, belittling, humiliating, or being downright disrespectful to another human being.

Synonym: Dick wad, Douchebag, a Richard, Ass Hat

Don't be a douchecanoe, Richard!

by Jephanie November 18, 2020

Douchecanoe

A person who is just the biggest bag o' dicks. And who claim their dick is the biggest, but a very afraid of rulers.📏

Some dude: oi you know Derek over there?
Some other dude: yeah.
Some dude: he's such a douchecanoe, I don't know why people like him.

by SquiDwaRD EpIc yEeT November 26, 2021