The beginning scentence in a series of political and economic jokes. "You have two cows..." jokes began as a parody of typical intro-course material in college level economics featuring a "farmer in a moneyless society, using his cattle and produce to trade with his neighbors."
The cows are used as a metaphor for currency, capital, means of production, and property.
"Two cows" jokes typically portray an outsider's view on many cultural and economic issues using paradox, and sarcasm.
The cows are used as a metaphor for currency, capital, means of production, and property.
"Two cows" jokes typically portray an outsider's view on many cultural and economic issues using paradox, and sarcasm.
You have two cows ...
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
Fact
You really have 0 cows.
ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
CANADIANISM: You have two cows. The bank takes both of them, shoots one, throws away the milk and you shoot yourself.
SOVIET: You have two cows. You count them and realize you have
four cows. You drink more Vodka. You count the cows again and realize you have eleventy six cows. You drink even more Vodka. After a while, you realize that eleventy isn't a real number. You count the cows again and have two cows. You open another bottle of Vodka and try to drown the loss of eleventy four cows.
DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products. You go bankrupt.
UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
FRISBEETARIANISM: You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You hope the government provides cow ladders.
Intel Pentium 60 - A80501-60
You have 2.0000000056987983 cows.
In the marketing department
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of two thousand millicows!
Fact
You really have 0 cows.
by Lillic0rr April 30, 2006
Get the You have two cows ... mug.1) For a very long time.
2) From now until whatever time the fat broads you live with return to the house.
2) From now until whatever time the fat broads you live with return to the house.
1)
When the cops started knocking on the door of the cocaine storehouse, Pete and Tony jumped out the window and ran until the cows came home.
2)
"Hey dad, when are we gonna be eating dinner?"
"Not until the cows come home, son. Where the hell are your mother and sister? I'm hungry too."
When the cops started knocking on the door of the cocaine storehouse, Pete and Tony jumped out the window and ran until the cows came home.
2)
"Hey dad, when are we gonna be eating dinner?"
"Not until the cows come home, son. Where the hell are your mother and sister? I'm hungry too."
by Nick D February 25, 2004
Get the until the cows come home mug.Related Words
Cowsaddle
• cowslut
• cowsack
• cowshed2
• cowshedder
• cowsmop
• cowsviych
• Cowsy
• Cows and pineapples
• Cows Blood
A vacuum-packed cow can be found in most fields in Britain throughout autumn and winter. Many believe that the large cylinder black bags are full of hay, but that is an urban legend. Inside these mysterious bags are on average three vacuum-packed cows. These cows have been dehydrated and vacuum packed in order to keep them safe until spring. If you had ever wondered why there were a lot less cows in the fields in winter, you now know. Obviously not all cows are vacuum-packed, as it is still a new technology, and can be dangerous to cows, or require them to have months of therapy afterwards.
Farmer Brown started vacuum-packing his cows around October, so they could get used to their vacuumed environment.
by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005
Get the vacuum-packed cows mug.by rocketman January 30, 2005
Get the Sweater Cows mug.guy 1: check out juggy mcbigjugs over there eh!
guy 2: yep, dems some sweater cows up in here boy, yessiree mother fucka
guy 2: yep, dems some sweater cows up in here boy, yessiree mother fucka
by juggy mcnippleton April 10, 2011
Get the Sweater Cows mug.by Kissifur September 8, 2008
Get the hit a cows arse with a banjo mug.A Place or area that due to the absence of light offers the same field of view as if your head was wedged inside a cows ass.
by Sathere March 8, 2009
Get the Dark as a cows guts mug.