Feeding The Unicorn

an excuse used when the person is to lazy to think of a real one

a sarcastic response to a question

Are you going to come over?
No. I'm feeding the unicorn.

Feeding The Unicorn by chaselc June 18, 2011

touching the unicorn 

To reach a state of devine inebriation.

Somebody is said to be touching the unicorn when at the peak of a psychedelic drug trip.

Morgan took just enough magic mushrooms to be nicely touching the unicorn.

This acid is weak mate you told me i would be touching the unicorn after only half a tab. give me my money back

touching the unicorn by paranoidburnleycurtaintwitcher July 30, 2011

Asphyxiate the Unicorn 

Just another thing to call masturbation. I guess there are just never enough ways to say it.

Larry's daughter was upset when he said he wanted to asphyxiate the unicorn, as she loved unicorns. She was more upset when she realized what he meant, and he started doing it front of her while playing xbox.

Asphyxiate the Unicorn by UrbanD1CKtionary February 21, 2011

Stash the Unicorn 

A sex act that involves strapping a dildo to one's forehead and then using said dildo to perform anal sex on a partner. Sometimes refers only to the male-on-male act.

I'm excited that I finally get to stash the unicorn with Matt!
I woke up with a sore neck after spending all night stashing the unicorn.

Stash the Unicorn by killedbydysentery May 31, 2015

Kiss the Unicorn

When you're eating the asshole and jacking the dick at the same time.

Crystal said "she doesn't believe in Unicorns." I said "so how would you like to kiss the unicorn?" She said "she'd love nothing more." So, I showed her the back door.

Kiss the Unicorn by Reece Duval December 26, 2019

Not feeling the unicorn. 

General unhappiness. A feeling that something is not quite right.

"I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm totally not feeling the unicorn."

Not feeling the unicorn. by Much ado December 2, 2016

Putting the mustache on the unicorn 

When you send a phrase to urban dictionary from three different accounts to get it published

My definition wasn't good enough so I'm putting the mustache on the unicorn

Putting the mustache on the unicorn by WillyDickCox April 11, 2015