Women, wear your badge of 'single-ness' proudly. I like being single. Getting involved is scary. Here's why:
1. you can no longer collect or give your number to the really hot guys
2. you have to get ready for huge disappointments (forgetten birthdays, holidays, etc...)
3. you can no longer trust your best friend. (you have to watch her out of the corner of your eye when with your man.)
4. you have to explain to your parents who the new guy is
5. no more eating two double cheeseburgers. Just a salad and water.
6. you have to pretend to like the cheesy gift he presented to you in front of everyone.
7. you have to stop your embarrassing habits.
8. you have to start calling yourself fat for recognition b/c he doesn't compliment you enough.
9. you cant wear the gramma panties anymore
10. you have to shave
11. you have to cook for two now
12. you have to deal with vicious rumors spread by his ex and her posse.
13. if you're nice to a male in public, he'll call it flirting and use it as his permanent defense in every argument.
14. He won't respect the cat.
15. He'll tell his buddies that you're stingy with the 'putty', but in fact, when you're in the mood, he's tiiired
16. you eventually have to deal with the break up
17. everyone wants to know how you two met, regardless how incredibly boring it was.
18. you have to put on your fake smile and endure 3 long hours of candy-coated insults or awkward silence when meeting his parents'.
19. After the breakup, your paranoia will convince you that he wants to torch the cat, thus causing you thousands in expensive therapy.
20. If your mother likes him and you two break up, she'll always refer to him as 'the one that got away.'
21. You have to start laughing at his jokes, regardless of how lame they are.
22. You have to hold your farts in
Miss Britney Kneecap
1. you can no longer collect or give your number to the really hot guys
2. you have to get ready for huge disappointments (forgetten birthdays, holidays, etc...)
3. you can no longer trust your best friend. (you have to watch her out of the corner of your eye when with your man.)
4. you have to explain to your parents who the new guy is
5. no more eating two double cheeseburgers. Just a salad and water.
6. you have to pretend to like the cheesy gift he presented to you in front of everyone.
7. you have to stop your embarrassing habits.
8. you have to start calling yourself fat for recognition b/c he doesn't compliment you enough.
9. you cant wear the gramma panties anymore
10. you have to shave
11. you have to cook for two now
12. you have to deal with vicious rumors spread by his ex and her posse.
13. if you're nice to a male in public, he'll call it flirting and use it as his permanent defense in every argument.
14. He won't respect the cat.
15. He'll tell his buddies that you're stingy with the 'putty', but in fact, when you're in the mood, he's tiiired
16. you eventually have to deal with the break up
17. everyone wants to know how you two met, regardless how incredibly boring it was.
18. you have to put on your fake smile and endure 3 long hours of candy-coated insults or awkward silence when meeting his parents'.
19. After the breakup, your paranoia will convince you that he wants to torch the cat, thus causing you thousands in expensive therapy.
20. If your mother likes him and you two break up, she'll always refer to him as 'the one that got away.'
21. You have to start laughing at his jokes, regardless of how lame they are.
22. You have to hold your farts in
Miss Britney Kneecap
Tip for those in relationships: If you have Mexican for dinner, never EVER let him follow you to the bathroom. You will be sorry.... and so will he.
by Miss Britney Kneecap June 20, 2004
Get the 22 reasons to stay single: mug.I gagged her, took ten paces back, and got her square in the eye with the single shot pump action yoghurt rifle.
by Wazza2404 October 30, 2008
Get the Single Shot Pump Action Yoghurt Rifle mug.Something someone might say when they are single and are going to masturbate and/or have sex for the first time
by RandomJack69 December 19, 2018
Get the I’m single and I’m ready to mingle mug.You're not just single, you're RIDICULOUSLY Single. This extra level of single-ness constitutes having vodka shots regularly at 4am, followed by administering the shocker to strange women at 6am, even on worknights, regularly finding yourself boning different women, even at 9am on Tuesdays, at least 2 or more women each week, hungover at least 4 mornings at work a week and telling women you are not 'emotionally available'.
Girl Looking for Marriage: He's pretty cute, is he single?
Slutty Girl: Oh, don't bother girl, he's RIDICULOUSLY Single. I'm gonna go talk to him though.
Slutty Girl: Oh, don't bother girl, he's RIDICULOUSLY Single. I'm gonna go talk to him though.
by ArmoSaus March 5, 2011
Get the RIDICULOUSLY Single mug.by Katy Perry stan October 22, 2018
Get the Roulette as a single mug.by Bob Chum Person April 21, 2018
Get the Wait... You're Single? mug.Brown Leather Single Sofa Furniture Is Not a Problem For Me, Angel Helstrom Jose Robles And I Know That
Brown Leather Single Sofa Furniture Is Not a Problem For Me, Angel Helstrom Jose Robles And I Know That
by TheSpartanicaOfAnyHellstromu3e April 24, 2025
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