Retire From Life

To give up on life and bring it to an end (suicide).

“Man, I don’t know if living is worth it, I’ll just retire from life and end it all...”

by Turtle Words January 28, 2021

401(A) : The Appalachian retirement plan

Turn 18. Make a back injury/psychiatric disability claim with SSI. Sell weed and narcotics out of you trailer for extra income. Treat the emergency room like a doctors' office for your many abscesses you will get from injecting drugs. Have many kids you can't afford for the tax advantages. Never work, act entitled the rest of your life while taxpayers with real jobs support your lifestyle. Oh, and have a bunch of tattoos but claim your afraid of needles when it's time to get a life saving antibiotic IV while on vacation in the Hyatt ..(the hospital).......

Hey Craig, hows Matt doing these days? I think hes been working on his 401(A) : The Appalachian retirement plan.

by BLACKHEATHER December 19, 2018

.44 Magnum Retirement Plan

When you fail to save and invest enough money for retirement and grow too old or get sick and can no longer work to earn money to maintain the lifestyle you are accustomed to. The .44 Magnum Retire Plan may be an option for you! Just place a loaded, high powered firearm to the side of your head or in your mouth and pull the trigger. All your retirement worries will disappear in an instant!

Clarence: “Hey Lance, how is your retirement portfolio looking?”.
Lance: “It’s strong to quite strong”.
Clarence: “Nice! You must have gotten in early on some wireless I.P.O.’s and made a killing!”.
Lance: “No. Truth be told, I haven’t saved or invested shit towards retirement. I’m 68 now and in failing health. I’m on the .44 Magnum Retirement Plan!”.

by E. Barlow June 22, 2021

hella retired

Phrase used to describe a retired person that is able to do things that only someone with time on their hands does or can do.

Hecka retired is used when more appropriate.

Grandma: I baked your three dozen cookies and some for your friends too, Johnny!
Johnny: Damn, Grandma, you're hella retired!

by Nigga Chris April 7, 2009

Retired

A euphemism for retarded, as gosh is a euphemism for God and darn is a euphemism for damn.

"I think she might be retired."

by Skalator June 8, 2009

Retired Wild Child

People who during their youths were very adventurous and often participated in crazy activities but have since matured and have grown out of the so called "wild child" phase.

Someone not interested in college parties because they partied so much in high school.

"Don't you know? Insert name isn't going to the party because he/she is a retired wild child.

by Arcane Persona September 12, 2009

Retireded

The act of being incredibly stupid, bordering on retarded due to excessive tiredness.

Can be caused by refusing to sleep at lan events, drinking too much mountain dew/red bull/coke, or generally being worn down.

Separate from retarded as the condition is generally alleviated by rest, whereas retarded people are usually afflicted with it indefinitely.

(During a clan match at 3am)

"Damn, why did you shoot me in the head, you teamkilling prick?"

"Sorry man, I am acting retireded"

by Shadowsan February 29, 2008