Identification: Guatemalan Mantises (guat mantids) are among the nastiest hood rats found in the general population. Adults range from 5 to 6 ft long, are dark, & usually brown, or yellowish (jaundice-drug or alcohol use). The females have big boobs & big front arms consisting of long jagged nails to attack sexual competition & random hoes. The male tends to be tatted, drunk & high on drugs. The vernacular/tone of this mantis consists of yelling & belligerence. Their large heads can rotate about 180 degrees & have large, bulging eyes. The term “Praying” comes from a common occurrence of vomiting on the weekends.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Heard your friend George married a Guatemalan Praying Mantis. I hope he’s ready for a life of misery, craziness and isolation.
by bertrando1 May 23, 2023
Get the Guatemalan Praying Mantis mug.Used to describe one's physical position when seated next to a seat bitch on an airplane or bus. In the seated position -- Both elbows are centered in above the stomach and the hands remain above the elbows. This ensures that no part of the body is allowed, remains, or otherwise intrudes upon another's seating or personal space.
by Biatch551 September 18, 2005
Get the Praying Mantis mug.When a man has such flabby tits that he is able to press them together so they touch, much like a set of praying titties.
by Mr. Balloonhands November 17, 2013
Get the praying mantits mug.An empty term used to express that you "care" but in reality, you don't and want attention/popularity
Instagram Post: I'm at a loss for words right now, I can't believe you're not here anymore.
Commenter: Oh my god, praying for you!!
Commenter: Oh my god, praying for you!!
by M7LEZ October 13, 2020
Get the Praying for you mug.by Alean Reali February 14, 2020
Get the Praying mug.by Noel Manson January 18, 2007
Get the praying mug.to have intercourse from behind with a partner, then grab the partner by the nostrels pulling up which will make the impression of a praying mantis.
by swollen motherfucker November 19, 2007
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