first poster

A person whose main goal in life is to post first on an internet video, picture, or anything else that allows comments. Usually this person will simply post "First!" or something along those lines rather than making an insightful or meaningful comment. First posters, while they themselves often believe that they are serving a valuable purpose and/or accomplishing something by being first, are generally disrespected by much of the rest of the online community.

First poster #1: "I was the first to post on a Failblog picture on March 17, 2008. It ended up getting 946 comments."
Neil Armstrong: "Wow, that's really impressive. I was the first person to walk on the moon."
Babe Ruth: "I was the first player to hit 60 home runs in a season AND the first to hit 700 career home runs!"
Albert Einstein: "Well I was the first to prove the relationship between mass and energy as well as many other fundamental principles of the universe that had puzzled scientists since the beginning of time."
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I was the first to climb Mt. Everest."
First poster #1: "What did you do up there?"
Sir Edmund Hillary: "I put up a sign that said 'First!!!' and got my ass back down that mountain. It was freezing up there, dude!"
God: "Well I was the first to create, well, you know, everything in the entire universe."
First poster #2: "Sweet man, congrats. I was the first to comment on that YouTube video of the news anchor accidentally saying 'blow job' on live TV."
Neil Armstrong: "LOL! That video was classic! Epic fail!"
Other commenter: "Shut up, all of you!!! Nobody cares if you're first! Get a life!"

by Nicholas D July 27, 2009

poster

A phrase usually stated during a basketball game in which one player embarasses another player by either vigorously blocking his/her shot or emphatically dunking over someone

(after somebody dunks over Kwame Brown)
Marv Albert: And (insert player name) puts Kwame Brown on the poster.

or simply

(in a mournful voice)
(player name)...........welcome to the poster

by Russell Baker May 27, 2008

poster child

Someone who is the perfect fit for a stereotype.

That girl who says "like, omg" all the time is the poster child for a Valley Girl.

by Im Caca for Cocoa Puffs January 22, 2008

Poster Nutbag

A dead cat that used to be Jimmy's pet. But now Jimmy wants a dog.

Dad- Son, I have some bad news
Jimmy- What is it Dad?
Dad- It's about your cat, Poster
Jimmy- Poster Nutbag ??
Dad- Yes
Jimmy- What is it Dad?

Dad- ...Your cat DIIIIIIEEEEEEEDD !!!

by Poster Nutbag May 20, 2003

posterior extraction

Method used to come up with data, or reasoning to make a descision. Formerly known as pulling it out of your ass.

Little Johnny: "I think President Bush is the most beloved president since Hoover."

Big Johnny: "How did you come up with that idea?"

LJ: "I used the posterior extraction method."

by frnkly April 28, 2008

Posterior Analysis

To look surreptitiously and luridly at the hindquarters of a member of the appropriate sex from a distance, especially as practiced by statisticians, mathematicians, etc.

When they brought those due diligence chicks in for our 1 o'clock feeding, I was caught doing a posterior analysis on the asian one with the houndstooth skirt. Man I was embarassed.

by shabbychef September 9, 2009

postle

1. To give someone a quick grope, generally to the buttock or breast area.

2. The word you shout when you postle someone.

"Chris just postled my arse!"

"POSTLE!"

by moobs December 7, 2013