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Pop Tarts

2 definitions

These are overly sweet pastry thingies that you put in the toaster and often end up setting your house on fire as they catch fire in the toaster. If you manage to get them out of the toaster without setting them on fire, you burn seven shades of shit outta your tongue. The filling is just like molten lava.

These are also all the female pop-ettes around today who, if they hadn't become famous, would have been prostitutes. They wear fewer clothes than hookers, invariably have had multiple boob jobs, move their bodies/ass around to simulate sex, and their videos are one step away from outright porn (Christina Ag is the exception - hers are def porn). These females only exist to be validated by how sexy men think they are. They have no other sense of self-worth other than that criteria. They are on a long line of conveyor belt media-manufactured pap in the original mold of barbie.
Ex. 1 - Strawberry, blueberry, apple, choc flavour etc.

Ex. 2 - Female pussycats - yeah ok you look hot whatever. Next.
by Missy M August 29, 2005
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Poptart-Ass

Someone with a nice butt. So good its (as said in Pop-tart commercials) "Crazy Good"
Guy: Man Jennifer has a nice butt
Bob: Yea she's such a Poptart-Ass
by Ralain August 1, 2009
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Poptart Cat

The "Nyan Cat" is commonly referred to as "Poptart Cat" to idiots such as Javier Altimirano, and many more.
Justin: "Hey Javier, come listen to this song!"
Javier: "Oh cool! It's the Poptart Cat!"
Jake: "It's not a fucking Poptart Cat, it's a Nyan Cat."
by definatelynotjustin October 30, 2011
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poptart dad

A delinquent father who believes that poptarts or any class of similar breakfast desserts high in fructose corn syrup can deliver adequate nourishment for their offspring. This individual usually puts forth minimal parental efforts to care for its young and usually is seen engaging in violent online clan gaming environments while simultaneously providing them with convenient pre-packaged high glycemic index sugary treats instead of proper nutritious options. This nutrition plan promotes discouraging signs of tooth decay fairly early in the child's life.
Me: "The reason we cant stand to be around our nephew for more than 5 minutes is because he is bouncing off the wall from all the poptarts you are feeding him for breakfast and 10 o'clock at night".....

Poptart Dad: "SO IM A POPTART DAD?!? THATS WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IM A POPTART DAD????"

Me: "Well yeah, if you want to call it that THEN YEAH YOU'RE A POPTART DAD!!!"
by children raising children June 30, 2011
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poptart

The best fucking shit you will ever taste in your life.
Dude, why did you eat my fucking poptart?
by NicoleKaylynn May 13, 2008
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Poptart Love

The love between two people who met online and are crazy about each other even though they have never met. Yet.
The love Kodi has for Mitch and Mitch has for Kodi. Kodi lives in Ohio and Mitch lives in Missouri. Which is Poptart Love.
by Ohio Poptart June 18, 2009
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Mongolian Poptart

Verb: The fierce action of violent butt sex while threatening your partner with a bludgeoning tool.
I gave my wife the Mongolian Poptart last night and I'm pretty sure she left this morning with the kids. I hope I'm not in the dog house.
by TheRealCK August 10, 2010
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