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Passive Listener

When someone should be listening to what you are saying but they are mentally too busy thinking of what they want to say or are interrupting you to get their point across or jump ahead of you telling the story because they can't wait for you to finish. This causes them to ask a question about the thing you are talking about before you are able to get it out or ask about something you said but they missed because they aren't really listening. As opposed to an active listener who is genuinely interested in hearing what you are trying to tell them regarding an incident or a story or information.
You: So I told her don't be all up in my business because. ..
Them: So she left or stayed or what?

You: I'm trying to tell you what happened. Don't be such a passive listener.
by Wordy Smith March 22, 2015
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On-listener

Similar to an onlooker but for listening.
That on-listener sure picked the wrong time to drop in for a listen. Now they think I am a serial killer
by Joe Deez May 12, 2020
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Secret listener

Someone who, often accidentally, secretly listens to another person taking doing a turd.

Running a tap whilst doing a turd is a good way to avoid secret listeners.
John: “I need a turd, but I’m worried there might be secret listeners”

Peter: “I understand your concerns, have you thought about running a tap?”
by Geoff The Penguin October 28, 2021
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Bed-listener

A person who is skilled in bed-listening rumours the negative information or sickness of any well-known celebrity or politician, only based on several figures from unknown resources. Bed-listeners often claim a celebrity to be badly ill (suffering from cancer or other severe diseases), because it seems that they comprehends the proficient skills of listening to what the target men said on their bed or even during their dreams.
In ancient China, palace maids and eunuchs are experts in bed-listening to the healthy conditions and bed stories of their monarchs.
A bed-listener says that Putin was badly sick, gripping the table to stop himself shaking so much, because he bed-listened Putin for months.
by iamshuo90 June 16, 2022
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Loot Listener

Loot Listeners are family members, normally distant relatives who can hear a will being read from three counties away and immediately swoop in with Post-its, Sharpies, and the subtlety of a yard-sale burglar.
"That's her cousin Karen, she's been after mum collection antique perfume bottles for years, she's what we call a Loot Listener with no class"
by The-Olas November 15, 2025
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J Cole Listener

Very Segsy
'Ayo that guy is a J Cole Listener you just know he has a huge dick'
by JCOLE3XPLATINUMNOFEATURES November 25, 2021
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MF DOOM LISTENER

- the people who know peak and gets all the huz and is the coolest person in the group because they know something others dont
- hey you listen to mf doom listener "?
-yes i do-
-please fuck me-
by DA GOAT ZAYY January 18, 2026
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