Jesus Bob

An emphatic interjection made when an off-handed sinister or perverse remark, often involving one's mom, leads to a cascade of incremental sarcastic wit that terminates with someone taking it way too far and getting graphically specific. The other participant in this cascade is left speechless, with the exception of the phrase: "Jesus Bob."

Paul: "...that's what she said."

Bob: "Who, you're mom? Yeah she says that to me all the time."

Paul: "Well the only words I get from your mom are groans."

Bob: "Well I fisted your mom in the ass while your dad asphyxiated himself in a gimp suit and jacked off!"

Paul: "Jesus Bob...."

by ah_halifax1 December 11, 2013

crossfit jesus

A person who is obsessed with crossfit and metalcore music. They are so talented at crossfit, they feel the need to participate in it almost every day, even when injured. Also known as WWE Superstar Seth Rollins.

My friend keeps sending me pictures of crossfit jesus lifting weights and she needs to stop.

by Sk8rWolfy August 9, 2016

come-to-Jesus moment

An epiphany in which one realizes the truth of a matter; a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something; coming clean and admitting failures; realizing the true weight or impact of a negative situation or fact; acknowledgment that one must get back to core values; moment of realization; an aha moment; moment of decision; moment of truth; critical moment; moment of reassessment of priorities; turning point; life-changing moment.

(alt.: "come-to-jesus moment")

“‘We had a real scare, a real come-to-Jesus moment. It was a time to figure out what we were about, where our priorities were. And there was no question. What we didn't realize is how we’d let our work overwhelm our family . . .”— Peer Marriage: How Love Between Equals Really Works by P. Schwartz, page 143 (1994)

”When I hear someone refer to a come-to-Jesus encounter/talk/experience, they're usually referring to a moment of truth that is difficult and harrowing for all who experience it.”—Telegraph-Herald (Dubuque, Iowa), 18 February, 2006

“My feeling is at a certain point we're going to have a 'come-to-Jesus' moment in the caucus and talk about whether you fund (the war) or not," said Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Wash.”—AP Online, 17 April, 2007

“Koonce got into teaching after he was in a severe car accident about five years ago. The wreck caused him to reassess his priorities. ‘It was kind of a come-to-Jesus moment,’ he says. ‘I started thinking about what was really important to me and a way for me to give back.’”— The Greater Baton Rouge Business Report (Louisiana), 18 November, 2008

“As important as the Massachusetts special election was to the health-care debate, it also represents a come-to-Jesus moment for the GOP. What kind of party will it be?”—Washington Post, 20 January, 2010

by WordWizard3 August 1, 2013

raptor jesus

Nowere in the bible does it say that jesus isnt a raptor.

Lawl im in your base killing all your mans. -raptor jesus

by f1r3wAll September 7, 2006

Gay Space Jesus

A nickname for Kaworu Nagisa from Neon Genesis Evangelion due to the fact that he appears to be gay, from space, and jesus

Person 1: Who is your favorite character from evangelion
Person 2: Kaworu Nagisa
Person 1: Oh, you mean gay space jesus

by WaluigiIsAGod March 2, 2017

Jesus take the wheel

When things go awry. When you can no longer take whats happening around you so you ask for the higher power Jesus to take the wheel.

Oh i just cant take this anymore Jesus take the wheel!

by Toffeebarz February 27, 2014

jesus handle

The handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout "Oh Jesus!" while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver's skill level or sanity.

Also known as an oh shit handle.

My aunt is such a terrible driver. Whenever she drives everyone clings to their jesus handles.

by Ko'rhyan March 26, 2009