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Guido Kissy Face

A hallmark of Guido culture. It is the act of making a "kissy face" whenever a camera is nearby, annoying the hell out the picture taker, unless he or she subscribes to Guidoism and approves of such weird facial behavior.

This skill is inherent in the Guido genes, and thought by some to be an involuntary reaction to the sight of a camera. Typically it is accompanied by some hand gesture known only within the Guido culture.

For examples and images, I would direct you to the website hotchickswithdouchebags.com for a more comprehensive list of images.
"Oh my God, Mike is making that damn Guido Kissy Face again! He is ruining all of my pictures!"
by Mang Now! January 27, 2010
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Guido doorbell

Guidos, frequently too self important to actually get out of their cars, or even call someone when in front of the house, beep their horns to let the person inside know they have arrived. Perhaps they are under the assumption that everyone else on the block is deaf, or wants a good look at their all around dark tinted windows on a white BMW.
I wish that Dickhole would stop ringing the guido doorbell and just use his phone.
by Jan Warren January 24, 2008
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Related Words
Guiod Guido Guild Wars Guidette guidelines guild guid guide GUIDA guidance

Guido coffin

Joe: "Shit that chick looks orange as hell"
Gavin: "Yeah, she must have spent to much time in the guido coffin"
by Leydeman February 17, 2008
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Chippewa Guido

A Western NY phenomena; the so-called "Chippewa Guido" represents an amalgamated term used to disparage a group of men who walk the line between homosexual and heterosexual and who frequent the ale houses along West Chippewa St. in Buffalo, NY. As the name implies, this group is represented by "men" of roughly Italian origin however, in recent years some of both Middle Eastern and Latino decent may also join their ranks based on considered adoption of meterosexual fashion.

A Chippewa Guido can be recognized by several key traits. The first is hair gel - the more the better. The second is that they are inordinately loud, and will scream at helpless televisions despite the fact that the people on the TV cannot hear them. Third, they talk about their sexual conquests incessantly.

As to mating, one or more Chippewa Guido's will often attempt to approach on a single lady or group of ladies and will then will attempt to enthrall them using a semi-erotic courtship display. The prevalence and success of such acts weather or not they result in coitus are used within the group establish pack-dominance.
Roger : I fucking hate this bar, it cost me 10$ to get in and the whole place is stuffed with sausage.

Helen : It's not as bad as you think look at the Chippewa Guido’s over there. I don't think they are a threat to you.

Roger : Your thinking sword fighting ?

Helen : I'm just saying. When men hook up, you win. I mean look at this place there are more men than women, but most of these dudes are probably going home together.

Roger : You make an excellent point, but I really don't like the way that Turkish dude is looking at my package. Let's get the fuck out of here.
by Darker January 21, 2010
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guido workout

Going to the gym and doing nothing but maxed out bench pressing (Usually a grand total of 3 reps every set), and bicep curls with dumbbells.

Coined by the fact that most guidos concentrate more on their chest and partial arms than they do on triceps, back, abdominals, and most importantly, legs and cardio.
I walked into the gym and heard screams of agony and torture. The guidos must be maxing out their bench press again.
by The Sub March 10, 2005
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Guido Minute

When your friend says they'll show up in a minute, but end up taking 30 minutes instead. Normally done by people named Guido.
Me: Hey, how long until you're ready?
Guido: Just give me a minute
Me: Alright, I'll see you in one Guido Minute then
by MANLIKETONER July 31, 2021
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Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy — not an Earth book, never published on Earth, and until the terrible catastrophe occurred, never seen or heard of by any Earthman.

Nevertheless, a wholly remarkable book.

in fact it was probably the most remarkable book ever to come out of the great publishing houses of Ursa Minor — of which no Earthman had ever heard either.

Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one — more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy of philosophical blockbusters Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes and Who is this God Person Anyway?

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitch Hiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words Don't Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.
Here's what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster.

It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.

The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards.

The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself.

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit, it says.

Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh that Santraginean sea water, it says. Oh those Santraginean fish!!!

Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).

Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.

Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle sweet and mystic.

Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.

Sprinkle Zamphuor.

Add an olive.

Drink ... but ... very carefully ...

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.
by MTCaptain August 15, 2006
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