Wallet Fossil

An unused condom that has been tucked away in a wallet for so long that it's actually fused with the leather, and must be carbon dated to determine the era in which it was intended for use. A wallet fossil should not be discarded as it may be worth money on the collector's market, or at least holds value as nostalgia for the days you still held out some hope for pussy.

"The date had not gone well, and Laura felt an awesome wave of relief when their waiter finally appeared with the check. As Chad took out his Harley-Davidson wallet to pay, Laura noticed a scuffy ring-shaped extrusion on it that can only be produced by a long forgotten wallet fossil. Suddenly it all made sense to her."

by PaulAllensCard January 30, 2015

fly fossil

When a person goes number two in a hot plastic outhouse that is infested with flies. The flies get trapped between the static layer of dung and the incoming layer of butter.

Wow! That Taco Bell tore me up! I must have made at least a dozen fly fossils in that plastic crapper!

by Redneckdanger July 3, 2018

internet fossil

A person who does not understand today's generation comedy/ memes.

*sends Jacob a cursed image*
Jacob: "ok??"
me: "you're such an internet fossil"

by seulgiie September 13, 2019

fossilized

The state after being fucked so hard, a girl lays in bed motionless like a fossil afterward

Dude I fossilized Cindy so hard last night she couldn't get up for work this morning

by Dan-Druff December 18, 2010

Fossil Blue

A cool kind of watch made by Fossil. Usually has a blue screen, hence the name Fossil Blue.

Dude, I just got a Fossil Blue for my graduation! Wait, wtf?

by Philip George September 18, 2005

fossil

A person, typically a no life, college-aged, high school graduated degenerate, who regularly attends high school parties hosted by those who are still in high school.

High School student 1 - Why is John at this party? Didn't he graduate from high school in 2007?

High School student 2 - He did graduate in '07. Man what a fossil.

by SLK Creighton February 21, 2011

fossiltute

a prostitute that is older than 50 years, prolly not making any dough

Xandir--"you know my grandma is a fossiltute."
Jesse-- "What!?"
Xandir--"its how she makes ends meet in between SS checks."

by Timmy 'Xandir' Tucker October 29, 2007