Comcast

One of the few companies today that manage to combine terrible cable services with equally dreadful internet connection, topped off with high prices and increasingly bad commercials that contradict all of the above.

The initial benefits of Comcast wear off quickly. The seemingly useful TV Guide menu is pointless when the shows they display are incorrect. Plus, you can just go the TV Guide website, channel, or magazine. OnDemand doesn't even work. So it's not really "on demand", at all. Most of the shows on it either sucks or you have to pay for it, which doesn't make sense considering there's websites that broadcast all of your favorite shows for free. The HD channels rarely work either. So this is what I'm paying seventy dollars a month for...

Person A: What kind of cable do you have?
Person B: Comcast. It sucks.
Person A: Really? At least you have OnDemand.
Person B: Yeah... every few days I do.

by girloncomputer March 18, 2009

Comcast

The fucking shittiest service known to man. Fuck this fucking cock ass nigger shit. They wont even connect. This thing wont even fucking connect. I've been trying to play League of Legends for 2 hours and my friends have already played two games and they won and they're gunna stop playing and imuna have to to go read a book or something. FUUUKKKKKKK.

My Friends: dude that game last night was awesome.
Me: FUCKING SHIT FUCK ASS COCK FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUU
My Friends: Oh you have comcast dont you

by super fucking pissed off February 21, 2013

comcast

1) A company that stips you of your freedom then ass rapes you.
2) Makes you pay 85 bux a month to get the good channels.
3) A reason to go with TiVo, Direct TV, Sattelite or anything else that isn't comcast.
4) A company built on lies.
5) A company that has no customer services

1) Man I feel violated since I went with comcast
2) Comcast said it was my fault for everything that went wrong with the cable, even though they were the ones who set it up.
3) Comcast Internet is good but I would go with qwest DSL just so I can escape them.

by awex January 6, 2004

comcraptic

1. comcraptic


When your cable company screws up your service or sucks in general.

or

Something that sucks in general.

or

Any expensive service that is totally useless.

I just got my new Comcast cable service and already my cable modem doesn't work and I've got a fuzzy picture on my tv. The Service is Comcraptic !

or

I got a flat tire today, my spare was flat and it started raining. It was totally comcraptic.

by ubob November 6, 2007

comcast housemates

when five formerly heterosexual college-age men, all hot studs, get horny for each other and live together in a house where they get phone, internet and cable television service from telecommunications giant comcast corp, and pay for it by sucking each other off, all while bickering amongst themselves.

i'll need to see your credit scores if you want to rent this property. i want to make sure you can pay me rent and aren't just a couple of goddamn comcast housemates.

by Charleez September 23, 2007

Comcast

1. An evil company with giant snakes for employee's disguised like humans, and they will hit the standby button on the world forcing everyone to stop except for them, and they will but rape you.
2. Comcast also stole Santa's weather machine and are using it to throw the world off balance.

1. You are sitting playing gears of war when you suddenly lag out, and have some sort of comcast service
1b. When you get anal raped by an Evil company.
2. See Global Warming.

by I HATE SNAKES!!!!! May 12, 2009

Comcast Cable

- a cable "service" that sends people to fix the problem by pretending they are checking the frequency on your dvr, then unplugging it and plugging it back in again, which you could have done yourself, then proceeding to charge you 28$ for it.

-begins in a semi-functional state, then deteriorates overtime.

-representatives are trained to be extremely polite, in order to make up for lack of effective service.

-leading cause of homocide.

bill came home in a great mood, turned on Comcast Cable and tried to watch the same program on his DVR 20 times last week, he is currently incarcerated for firebombing several Comcast enemy bases, and raping executives in the parking lot.

by casperthedopestghostintown February 13, 2010