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coffeces

The shit you have to take soon after drinking a cup of coffee
"Sheri is suffering from a case of coffeces courtesy of Starbucks"
by ILuvBlumpkinPie January 22, 2014
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asshole coffee

The act of buying a coffee for an individual/group to make up for being an asshole
The man cut in line so he bought everyone an asshole coffee
by Skippyzu July 21, 2019
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coffee

Coffee is cheaper than meth.
by MamaBurd March 27, 2012
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Commoners Coffee

From the anime, Ouran Highschool Host Club. It means instant coffee, as 'poor people don't have enough time to grind their own coffee beans'
"I'm going out to get some commoners coffee, want to come?"
by Princess Bubblegum Alicorn August 14, 2015
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The Coffey Handshake

The act of placing one's anus on their partners nose and shitting furiously onto their face. This became a common act in Ireland in 1916, when Irish wives would shit on their partners face before they fought the British. A Coffey Handshake is most commonly used nowadays to make sure a partner doesn't cheat on another partner.
As the morning dew settled Bonny sat her greasy asshole on top of Frankie's pointy nose. She then began to release a flurry of shit onto Frankie's face and into his nostrils. This was The Coffey Handshake, so Frankie wouldn't fuck that thot , Paula at work.

"My wife gave me The Coffey Handshake the other night"
by Fannymcfee October 21, 2017
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Coffee Condom

A cardboard sleeve made to insulate to-go coffee cups.
I did not use a coffee condom and my espresso got cold. I should learn to practice safe drinking.
by Dr Piggapuss October 1, 2018
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who pissed in your coffee

When someone is in a particularly foul mood first thing in the morning. Many people will have a cup of coffee before anything else is taken care of. Therefore their coffee must have been pissed in to start their day off so badly.
Joe: "Hi Jack! Wonderful day isn't it?"
Jack: "Ah fuck yourself you fucking fuck!"
Joe: "Well who pissed in your coffee this morning asshole!"
by Jumpingrat March 29, 2007
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