Skip to main content

Asset Protection

the protection of the backside of miniature donkeys, elephants and mongoose.
Could someone please call Asset Protection to deal with the artard in the lobby?
by Anniew March 18, 2008
mugGet the Asset Protectionmug.

citigroup asset management

A place I long to be. The people are great & everyone is nice.
"I love my job".
"Oh you must mean Citigroup Asset Management"
by yo yo mon bitoch March 31, 2005
mugGet the citigroup asset managementmug.

Ditch the Ass, Sieze the Assets

A womens plan when divorcing a man. Usually a man who had it coming.
You: Hows your husband?

Friend: Oh that jackass? I'm divorcing him.

You: Yea ditch the ass, sieze the assets.
by doubletrouble22 September 25, 2009
mugGet the Ditch the Ass, Sieze the Assetsmug.

Asset Girl

A young woman, from moroccan /german descent, who has to finish a vast amount of social media ads, while being understaffed
She is such an Asset Girl
by 2893uuhn December 26, 2022
mugGet the Asset Girlmug.

alphabetical assets

A-to-Z terms for assorted "stash of cash" type holdings, such as:
bassets: How many fish ya caught (can also refer to how deep musical-notes ya can produce from yer audio system)
brassets: Da total number/amount of copper-alloy items dat ya possess
cassets: Da monetary holdings dat Silas Marner's friend Godfrey shared wif him to help wif Eppie's upbringing; could also refer to how many audio-tapes ya have
classets: Da students attending a particular grade in school
crassets: Da "reserve" of "non G-rated" remarks/actions dat ya are willing/able to perform
gassets: Da quantity of already-produced methane dat ya have "stockpiled" inside yer colon so dat ya can fart on demand
glassets: How many beakers, test tubes, bottles, goblets, etc., dat ya possess
grassets: Can refer to either how lush yer lawn is, or da quantity of cannabis dat ya presently have in yer "happy" stash
Additional examples of "alphabetical assets" include:
lassets: Da names in yer "little black book"
massets: Can refer to either (1) da total volume of bulk dat ya possess, or da total amount dat a Catholic church has accumulated from passing da collection plate
passets: Monetary resources dat ya either had handed to ya or acquired by visiting dat big city in Texas (i.e., "Ell Passo")
sassets: Da number of "juss flippin' yer switchiz" wisecracks dat ya have "on standby" to good-naturedly tease someone
TASSets: How much of yer investment-portfolio is tied up in Russian-news-agency stocks
by QuacksO October 28, 2025
mugGet the alphabetical assetsmug.

Russian asset

Anyone that disagrees with the narrative of the Democratic Party
Person 1: I'm leaving the Democratic Party. They no longer represent my values

Person 2: Wow. You are such a traitor and a Russian asset!
by ReaperMan26 October 11, 2022
mugGet the Russian assetmug.

Asset

Oh wow yeah, totally... Women are a TOTAL asset. They clean up your house for you? That helps a lot. That OR! OR they let you fuck them on camera and then THAT helps EVEN MORE. Because THEN I have 200 million dollars and I'll just be doing the thing I WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ANYWAY. It's like being a pro gamer! Or a streamer! Or a podcaster.
Fatcock "Wait... You mean I can cut out the middle-man and get paid to TALK about fucking all of the women? Shit bro, sign me up. You see, I got this mindset dawg... And it's like... Bro... You gotta get some assests. Right? And you can't SPELL asset without 'ass'? Right? You see. I got this way of talking to em, right? I thought it up with my thinky thoughts, bro."

Hym 😒 "Oh? Yeah? Do you talk to them AS THOUGH... you ALREADY KNOW... YOU... Are GOING to fuck them?"

Fatcock "Uh-er, Wha-"

Hym "Like you KNOW they are going to do the thing that they ARE GOING TO DO... and there aren't any REAL, LASTING consequences to your interaction (negative or positive) because when I say 'THEY are going to fuck you' I don't mean 'THEY' at an individual level but 'THEY' as an abstraction and in aggregate. Like, YOU KNOW you're going to fuck 'them'."

Fatcock "Yeah, buuuuuut 😌☝️ I deserve it... Cus of the mindset. And then I make a bunch of sluts.... But, wait, my FRESH SLUT... SHE doesn't COUNT as a slut. Right? So you gotta respect her becuase she's the good one and, um, I'm also the good one."

Hym 🤨 "Because of the mindset?" 🤨
by Hym Iam March 27, 2023
mugGet the Assetmug.

Share this definition