Anaphylacdick Rash

A disease where the affected person is often referred to as the victim (uncommon to most diseases).The underlying conditions are genetic and situational. They are known to involve consuming copious amounts of beer from a gas can before, during, and after an allergic reaction to something else.

The disease develops when the victim’s good friend gets concerned and suggests outlining the spots to keep track of them. Mere seconds later, a bunch of the victim’s jerk friends will start outlining them with a sharpie.

The disease can and will metastasize into:
-Stage I, if in the presence of an asshole friend who starts outlining a non-existent splotch in the shape of male genetailia in non-visible part of the body
-Stage II, If an even bigger asshole friend decides that the other asshole friend missed an even larger, much larger than actual scale in fact, non-existent splotch also in the shape of male genetailia.

Good Friend: Hey man, you have splotches all over your neck and back!
Victim: <takes off shirt> whoa it’s all over my back and shoulders.
Asshole Friend: I think your girl is trying to murder you. I told her that bloody mary had clamato in it.
Victim: <dumb drunk laugh>
Good Friend: no this is serious, at work, we outline them at my clinic, because it is easier to see if they are getting worse or better.
Victim: <pause for reflection>
Jerk Friend: Hey, I found a sharpie.
Asshole Friend: look, He’s got a goofy shaped splotch on his shoulder. <heh heh>
Even Bigger Asshole Friend: Look, you missed that one that takes up his entire back. <HAHAHAHAH Anaphylacdick Rash!>

by gascanman2 February 10, 2014

asphyxiwank

noun & verb. The act of asphyxiating oneself close to death whilst masturbating for the thrill of it. A fetish that can sometimes go a little too far by accident, leading to death.

Derived from "asphyxsia" and "wank" (British term)

The Conservatives cannot effectively comment on corruption, since they became the party of cash-for-questions, the extramarital affair and the fatal asphyxiwank

by Dijital-JB May 17, 2006

Asphalteroid

An object, usually a rock, that hits the front of your car. As these projectiles are usually unavoidable, any scratch or dent they may make must be accepted as a scar of city driving.

"That dump truck was dropping major asphalteroids."

by Steve Capstick June 27, 2006

Kissing asphalt

To be dead, unconcious, or in any other state which would involve your face against the ground.

#1: "That kid is such a little bitch, I should kick his ass."
#2: "Don't bother, I already sent Brad after him. He's probably kissing asphalt by now."

by Mr. Booyah July 31, 2010

eating asphalt

Slang for being thrown from a motorcycle and hitting the pavement, sometimes face-first.

The way that dude rides his bike, it won’t be long until he’s eating asphalt!

by Dr Bunnygirl July 12, 2021

mafuyu asahina

you already know this one.. the basic, overworked gifted child that is clearly emo and maybe has pulled a kanade yoisaki by accident or not.. one word, please do not the mafuyu kinnies..!!

person 1: ngl i kinda relate to mafuyu asahina a lot
person2: have you kinsidered therapy today :3

by flayie June 26, 2023

Asphalt challenge

When a person dies, their body temperature cools down to the temperature of the asphalt they lay on.

A man overdosed on some marijuana laced with fentanyl and took the asphalt challenge in his garage. Luckily, paramedics were able to use narcan and save his life.

by ElevatedPanguitch October 5, 2020