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Canoe Lesbian

A Canoe Lesbian is one of only two types of lesbians. This lesbian will go out of nowhere and cut a tree down and make a canoe out of it. This canoe will sit in a room for over a month and collect dust, waiting for its lesbian to ride it hard one day!
Fred turns to his friend and asks, "Yo, bro, I didn't know Lola was lesbian."
His friend Gary turns to him and pauses from giving his girlfriend sweaty backshots, "Yeah, bro; she's like totally a Canoe Lesbian."
Fred, "A canoe lesbian?"
Gary's girlfriend huffs from below Gary, "Yeah, she just like took an axe to a tree one day and built a canoe."
Gary: "Yeah, bro, up and nowhere, too. It's like she just snapped after she scissored Mary." Gary flips his girlfriend around and starts pounding her from the front.
Fred shrugs as he watches them from the couch, "Damn, I didn't know there were different types of lesbians. That's wild, and it's good for her, I guess. What's she going to do with the canoe?"
Gary groans as his girlfriend moans, "Yeah, I don't know. I guess it will just collect dust until she decides to ride it out hard one day!" Gary thrusts one more time and slumps next to his girlfriend, breathing hard, his cock throbbing and empty.
Fred, unfazed, just stares at the picture of Lola on his phone as he reaches for his zipper, "Damn, unfortunate for the canoe."
by freaksters October 15, 2024
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Douche canoe

Landen is a fucking douche canoe
by Harrysavage January 23, 2023
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douche canoe

a person whom is a level above you’re average douchebag. the ultimate douche.
Brenden is sure a douche canoe when it comes to dealing with girls.
by 103937;727261783 January 26, 2018
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Douche canoe

Insult to any gender that implies top tier douche bag status.
"If I put a spoiler on my Daewoo you think the chick's would dig it?"..........."No Brad, you already look like a DOUCHE CANOE as it is by owning a daewoo alone."
by Ahhstin666 March 21, 2021
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canoed out

its a sexual innuendo for whenever a woman repeatedly gets fucked by numerous men and is bottomed out
My friend Manuel doesnt fool around with women whom he believes have been canoed out
by Manuel59manuel February 12, 2021
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Canoe Slapped

Performing the Cunnilingual arts with such a profound skill and vigor as to cause a woman to gyrate her hips uncontrollably, inevitably thrusting them upwards with orgasmic energy enough to knock the absolute fuck out of your greasy mug and send it flying back, potentially injuring both parties.
-Dude, what happened to your front teeth!?
- Man, I wath eating Sthathy's box out and that evil little bath'dard in the pink canoe reared up and thucker punched the thhid out'a me!
- Dude, you totally got canoe slapped!! Nice!
-Fuck you, I'm gay now...want a blowjob?
-Fine, but no teeth.
by Someone who misses their balls October 29, 2015
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Douche canoe

When you're in school and the hot kid is being a jerk so you don't want to say the whole thing but you have to bring the point across
" lean back sara…"
" SHUT THE F UP YOU DOUCHE CANOE"
by Ha you thought June 8, 2017
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