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sexual baseball

Sexual baseball is a way of talking about sexual encounters without actually using sexual words. This is useful for when there are small children or other people in the room. There are many different baseball terms that are also sex baseball terms here they are...
1st base (single) is anything involving mouth to mouth contact in a sexual way. (ex. making out)
2nd base (double) is the use of hands on or in the "privates" (ex. handjobs)
3rd base (triple) is the use of mouths on the "privates" (ex. blowjobs)
A home run is sexual intercourse.
An RBI is added on to the end for every person not counting yourself. (ex. getting blowjobs from two women would be hitting a triple with 2 RBIs)
The "Batter" is yourself when talking about sexual baseball.
The "Pitcher" is your partner or possible partner.
A "strikeout" occurs when you ask someone to date you and they say no.
A "groundout" or a "flyout" occurs when you ask someone to hookup and they say no.
"Strikes" are things you say or do wrong.
"Balls" are things your partner says or does wrong.
A "bat" is a penis.
A "glove" is a vagina.
Boobs are known as the "pitchers mound(s)"
A "broken bat" or a "broken glove" is someone who has an STD.
A 'broken in glove" is a woman who is not a virgin.
A condom is known as a "doughnut".
So I asked Becky to hookup and she told me no the first time but then I asked again and she said yes. She is totally not a virgin so I used a condom. She gave me a blowjob while I felt her up and then we had sex. She even got one of her friends to join us and I did her too. It was a great night.

In sexual baseball talk: Becky was pitching and on my first at bat I grounded out, but my next time up I hit a triple. Her glove has been broken in a lot but that didn't matter. I used a doughnut and I hit a home run with 2 RBIs. It was a fun game.
by Quesoamericano September 4, 2013
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massachusetts baseball

A lot of unathletic, rich white kids. Majority of them are going to be pitchers. The rest are Single - A shortstops.
"Welcome to the majors kid. Where are you from?"

"Springfield."

"Which one retard?"

"Massachusetts."

"Fucking Massachusetts baseball..."

"What?"

"Are you a pitcher?"

"Nope, shortstop."

...

"Lord, give my new friend and I the strength to see that he plays at least once this year. And if he does, don't make me go blind."
by CeltsIn42018 August 24, 2017
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dick baseball

when a group of men are in a locker room, or otherwise largely congregated area, and decide to pass time by participating in a game of baseball, using their dicks as the bat.
Well boys, we got anything better to do?
Nah, dick baseball it is.
by Rampaging Boner June 27, 2019
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LED baseball cap

A baseball cap is a close-fitting cap with a curved part at the front that sticks out above your eyes.
when you have purchased a beautiful baseball cap, that provides you with a strip of LED light.
"hey Margret guess what I purchased on wish last night"
"let me guess, a golden dick trophy"
"no, an LED BASEBALL CAP"
"WOW!!!"
by Debra Biblooby August 28, 2019
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Wii baseball

The quickest way to get a sore arm besides from jacking off.
My arm is so sore from Wii baseball.
by 8tb39q4 g March 9, 2020
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i'd hit it, with a baseball bat.

The oposite of I'd hit it. Used in a way that calls the other person ugly. See: I'd never hit it even if I was forced to
i'd hit it, with a baseball bat. in action

Nick: Hey Matt you know Rebecca?

Matt: Yeah, I'd hit it.

Nick: Ewww, shes nasty what the fuck is wrong with you?

Matt: With a baseball bat.

Nick: Ohhhh, haha me too.

Matt: Yeah, I'd never hit it even if I was forced to.
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Taken from the 1992 film 'A league of their own', when Tom Hanks' character says it to own his female players who started to weep when she couldn't handle the criticism he had on her.

Outside of baseball, people replace the last word with their occupation (There's no crying in politics!///There's no crying in wrestling!///etc)

When someone says that to you, they actually want to say something like 'Be a man' or 'Don't be a pansy'.

A variant of the use was spotted on many websites, while commenting on Hillary Clinton's infamous speech in which she seemed to on the brink of crying.
* During the halftime of a baseball match *
COACH: 'ANDERSON! WTF where you doing out there!? Don't you have a f*cking brain or something? Not even a chimp hit the ball like that! Where you out of your f*cking mind? WHERE YOU??
ANDERSON: *starts to cry*
COACH: Oh come on, what the f*ck is this...
ANDERSON: *still crying* I'm sorry coach....I was stupid, I....*proceeds to cry even louder*
COACH: No! No, No, No! You stop that right now Anderson, do you hear me! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL!
by Valmeijita August 6, 2008
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