insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

Wayward Wipe

The accidental spreading of poop on your butt when wiping and not getting it fully removed.

Husband: I pooped but I think I had a wayward wipe because it still smells back there.
Wife: What is wrong with you?!?!

by Urban humor July 30, 2017

Poorly wiping

When you wipe poorly

I'm poorly wiping

by Kai_is_strange November 10, 2018

snag wipe

one that wipes snot or boogers upon a door knob or wall

Raphael put snag wipe on girlfriends hair

by drippydick11 January 8, 2012

wiping fingers

The fingers used to hold toilet paper to wiping your ass after taking a dump. If you also use wet wipes your ass won't be stinking.

Guy 1: Man did you wash your wiping fingers after you took a shit? Guy 2: I only do that if my fingers smell like shit after wiping. Guy 1: That's nasty bro. You need to wash them every time after.

by jimmybomm July 11, 2021

tactical wipe

Something that is absolutely necessary in a heatwave, for the old gooch.

Simon: oh my gooch is absolutely sodding in this heat.
Paul: oh you just need a tactical wipe simon, that’ll sort you out sir.

by Relatablegirth June 9, 2023

wipe licker

someone so low, they lick the wipes used to wipe someones butt.
the rung below arse licker on the social ladder.

"Hey guess what Tom did last night!"
"what?"
"got with Harry's girlfriend!"
"That dude is such a wipe licker"

by salaamhabibti October 27, 2011