Sandpaper Wank

An unpleasant/painful experience, which could be likened to masturbating with sandpaper.

"Wasteman! That exam was like a sandpaper wank"

by Eazy-JT January 20, 2010

Cry wank

When you're a sad fuck and horny at the same time

Mike: god i wanna kill mah self
Tyler: why don't you just cry wank
Mike: *proceeds to kill himself*

by Sad fuck March 25, 2020

Wank balance

The level of jizz in the male sexual organs, for example if you haven't had a wank for a week you have a healthy wank balance, if you wank 8 times a day then your overdrawn

I need to refuel the tank - my wank balance is running low after this mornings work out

by sharkfest August 1, 2016

wasted wank

When the act of maturbation is disturbed causing loss of momentum or ejaculation in your pants because some inconsiderate person has turned up uninvited

I downloaded some wicked porn last night and was knocking one out then my mum walked through the door 2 hours early as I was just about to shoot my load, what a wasted wank

by Djc2508 January 16, 2014

Wank fairy

A mysterious being who, after a guy has masturbated in bed and not bothered to wipe up after, arrives and cleans up the area.

Responsible for the disappearance of cum

"The tooth fairy takes teeth - the wank fairy takes jizz - simple as that"

by Benjalo November 16, 2009

wank-machine

1.(noun) Referring to a person, usually a male, who masturbates obssessively multiple times daily.

2.(noun) Referring, in a degrading manner, to anyone who holds a very high opinion of themselves but is actually just an idiot.

1. Man, Clive is a wank-machine of note. He spanked his little monkey thirteen times yesterday.

2. Fiddy is such a wank-machine.

by Jeby March 20, 2006

Cookie-Wank

You and your friends stand in a circle around a cookie. You start to jerk off and try to hit the cookie with your load. The first one who doesn't hit the cookie, or the last one to cum, has to eat it.

"Man, I still have the taste of the Cookie-Wank off yesterday in my mouth."
"Yes, I came first!"
"Oh man, I lost the Cookie-Wank again."
"Oh sorry I didn't mean to shoot you"

by TheFunnyGamer October 18, 2021