Hammering the Beets

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.

I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.

by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020

taint hammer

The opposite of the shocker, in which an extended ring finger is used to pummel the taint.

The shocker? Don't be a fool. Deploy the taint hammer!

by Boba Twat January 22, 2010

The Hammer of Thor

A form of Cock and Ball Torture where one is strapped naked outside during a thunderstorm and has a lightning rod inserted into the urethra. Should a bolt of lightning strike it, they achieve the power of Thor.

Simp 1: “bruh my girl is gonna give me The Hammer of Thor if it rains tonight.”
Simp 2: “don’t fucking talk to me dude.”

by Monkey Shagger May 1, 2020

Hog Hammering

A woman who entertains multiple obese men sexually at the same time. Dicks all around.

Linda was caught hog hammering her fathers friends at the crawfish festival.

by Supra man June 24, 2014

Warm Hammer

Deliberately and repeatedly hitting your lady in the eye with your member.

Yo dawg, my bitch was giving me shit everyday. Everyday. Until I gave her the warm hammer.

by Warm Hammer PhD. August 15, 2011

Pleasure Hammer

A big fat cock. Huge man meat. Thick and rigid.

He tore my house up with his pleasure hammer.

He put that pleasure hammer to my ass and I can’t walk today.

by Eaton Holgoode December 15, 2017

hammered hell

Trashed, Completely unacceptable. Non negotiable. Beyond recognition. Unsatisfactory.

You look like hammered hell. I feel like hammered hell.

by Jl77diver January 6, 2014