hand wanding

An act used for manually penetrating an orifice for the purposes of pre lubrication prior to penetration via a limb, specially a hand, knuckle, finger, wrist or elbow... consent is a must for this activity...

Man, I’d love to give her a strong hand wanding, right up to the elbow...

by HandWander69 October 10, 2018

Popcorn hands

n. Large, cauliflower-shaped phalanges, ill-suited for use during intercourse.

Hey, Angie... check out the set of popcorn hands on that guy.

by Oscar's Mom June 13, 2008

hand cream

That infamous post jerk-off semen on your hand that you don't quite know what to do with.

Johnny- Hurry up in there Brandon, we have to go.
Brandon- Give me a break Johnny, I've got a fist full of hand cream in here and nowhere to wipe it! Jeez!

by The Ugly Barnacle February 27, 2015

Shower Hands

Shower Hands - Adj

Used to describe the fingers of person who has been in a shower for a while and cannot roll a cigarette or joint.

Guy 1: Aww, shit dude. I've been washing up for a job and now i can't roll a doobie for after. Fucking shower hands

Guy 2: Sucks bro

by Samael86 February 28, 2014

Blacksmith Hands

When a guy has very rough, calloused hands. Usually a result from years of wear on the hands.

Sophie: Hey Tina, I heard Joe felt you up last night, how was it?

Tina: Wasnt as good as I was expecting, major case of blacksmith hands!

Sophie: Nasty...

by AnonBurger April 2, 2010

Museum Hands

When a person's hands get covered in cum resulting in being unable to touch anything, much like in a museum.

I couldn't turn the doorknob to get out of her bedroom because I had museum hands.

by Director October 23, 2014

hand slamming

Intense and at times, violent masturbation.

"OMG I walking into the house and caught my sister hand slamming herself, my eyes will never be the same again."

by Daikaiju February 22, 2015