beard second

The unit of distance. The length the average beard grows in one second.

That race was like 4 billion beard seconds!

by Thinkingray May 16, 2014

Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.

‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.

by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021

Bearded Pepper

The result of copulation between a man and a cursed corpse. The man's penis takes on the appearance of a hairy jalapeno.

Origin: The condition was first mentioned on the podcast "Learning to Curse with Adam & Chuck", where it is used as a recurring joke.

Person 1 Hey, bro... how do you cure a bearded pepper?

Person 2 There is no cure... that's what you get for being a necrophiliac.

by Learningtocurse August 28, 2018

Johnson Beard

Pubic hair that has grown longer than one's right thumb.

Dude, my Johnson beard looks like the Amazon jungle during the summer

by Mr. handfart January 10, 2011

Bearded Wazzy

The act of tearing out someone's pubic hair at the exact moment of climax, soaking it in said climax, and then placing it on their face - the fluids acting as an adhesive.

Man, I had sex with this chick who had a bush from the effing nineties... sooo I gave her a Bearded Wazzy.

by GKBDB January 12, 2010

Fecal Beard

When someone doesn't wash their hands after pooping and then puts their hands on your face.

Sally, please don't rub the stubble on my face if you haven't washed your hands after going #2, because you've now given me a fecal beard and I have to disinfect my face.

by jennacola March 8, 2013

Goat beard

Noun

A woman who has straight pubic hair, thereby resembling a goat's beard.

Synonyms: pubes, pubic hair.

#pubes #mons pubis #vulva #yoni

"My hair down there is so straight, it looks like a goat beard.

by Aurora Blew March 11, 2017