Hemingway Defense

Where the stress and work of artistic expression is used to excuse substance abuse, chemical dependencies and other toxic coping-mechanisms.

"I also employed the world-famous Hemingway Defense... which goes something like this: as a writer, I am a very sensitive fellow, but I am also a man, and real men don't give in to their sensitivities. Only sissy-men do that. Therefore I drink. How else can I face the existential horror of it all and continue to work? Besides, come on, I can handle it. A real man always can."
-- Stephen King

by The Logical Fallacy February 17, 2023

West Coast Defense

When two Bro's playing beer pong resort to extreme measures. Usually involves stripping down to their underwear and dancing in order to distract the opposing players. Can be used for various other things.

Dumb girl: What the hell are you guys doing?
B: West Coast Defense
DG: Is that why you're naked?
B: Yes.

by Bezerra October 27, 2010

The Rainbow Defense

The act of pretending to be homosexual in order to deter the less desirable members of the opposite sex. The move also can inversely serve to infiltrate social circles in an attempt to court a member of the opposite sex, or to deter jealous/suspicious spouses.

The school placed me in Theater (The preferred electives were taken). I used the Rainbow Defense to pull more women in that class. And I was totally gonna end up at one of their sleepovers and 'get curious' until I got expelled from that school...

by Karl Av-Ulvene December 29, 2014

The Clintonian Defense

The Clintonian Defense is when someone does something wrong (and it was obviously wrong) and says that they didn't know it was wrong and therefore should not receive any punishment.

Man, didn't know I'd get a ticket if I ran that red light. I'll use the Clintonian Defense to get out of a ticket.

by Styxgoyenhammer666 November 27, 2017

sucking out "evil spirits" defense

A defense this is used by pastors who use oral sex during exorcisms to extract “evil spirits” and “demons” from troubled church members. It is used mostly on men by male pastors but technically could be used by any exorcist on any gender. Because it is a religious practice for which no detailed account in the bible on record, it is very hard to explain in religious terms how the process works by a pastor. However, one should not be confused such gallant efforts with sexual assault, aggravated assault, sexual battery, false imprisonment and intentional infliction of emotional distress, misrepresentation and gross negligence. The method is clearly not a guarantee as some "evil spirit" and or "demons" may be pretty dam pissed off about someone trying to dislodge them and try to retaliate by taking advantage of the fact that the process is so hard to explain.

The Judge and hopefully the jury just sat there in disbelief as the defense presented the - sucking out "evil spirits" defense.

by mlhiss July 26, 2019

Battlefront baby defender

a toddler put on the front lines of a war to defend

why is my daughter here?

oh, shes our battlefront baby defender

by Tablecloth_wanker March 23, 2020

Sidney Powell Defense

The legal argument that no sensible person would take you seriously. This argument was used by Sidney Powell, a batshit crazy attorney who spread Donald Trump's false claims of voter fraud. Powell was defending herself against a lawsuit by $1.3 billion Dominion Voting Systems.

"Mrs. Powell, You made false claims of voter fraud." powerfully said by prosecutors.
"Excuse me, Your Honour. No sensible person would believe what the defendant said." the lawyer said defensively.
"Sidney Powell Defense, what a terrible argument." the prosecutor said in a snarky tone.
"I didn't do nothing!" desperately cried Sidney Powell in her thick Durham accent.

by George's_Bush March 30, 2021