When one’s electronic devices get stolen except for an old Nintendo 3DS XL while being unnaturally horny. Their only option is to navigate to their preferred pornography site on said 3DS and masturbate under a bed without lubricant ejaculating into a sock.
Person 1: Bro my Dad took my phone last night and I had to beat my meat so bad.
Person 2: What’d you jerk to if you didn’t have your iPhone?
Person 1: Don’t judge but I was 3DS Jerking.
Person 2: Yooooooooo whatttttttt?!?!
Person 2: What’d you jerk to if you didn’t have your iPhone?
Person 1: Don’t judge but I was 3DS Jerking.
Person 2: Yooooooooo whatttttttt?!?!
by onlybenjamins November 05, 2019
Person 1: Man last night was crazy!
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Because my girlfriend was jacking me off, and I didn't have any tissue.
Person 2: So what did you do?
Person 1: I had her jerk me off into the toilet so there wasn't any mess.
Person 2: ...wtf.
Person 1: Toilet Jerk man!
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Because my girlfriend was jacking me off, and I didn't have any tissue.
Person 2: So what did you do?
Person 1: I had her jerk me off into the toilet so there wasn't any mess.
Person 2: ...wtf.
Person 1: Toilet Jerk man!
by Conbradyor June 19, 2010
The act of masturbating.
by Candaster March 10, 2022
When you haven't masterbated in a while and need to clean out your system.
If not, your day will be spent staring at pictures and getting turned on by everything.
If not, your day will be spent staring at pictures and getting turned on by everything.
"I haven't masturbated in a while. I'm going to need to do a utility jerk if I want to get work done." ~ Mr. Regular
by fadumpt March 09, 2015
Giving oneself a wank or receiving a hand job with some form of lubricant. May be a commercial sex lube or an improvised lube such as a food sauce, condiment or heavy saliva.
I used to just dry rub one out until I discovered KY warming gel. Now I butter jerk every chance I get.
Your mom was making me breakfast and she broke out the spray butter and strawberry jam and gave me a quick butter jerk.
Your mom was making me breakfast and she broke out the spray butter and strawberry jam and gave me a quick butter jerk.
by Eaton Holgoode January 22, 2018
So when you go onto someone’s onlyfans homepage and they have a sexy pic and you jerk off to the pic instead of paying the whole subscription, which would make them a jerk.
John was a real homepage jerk, he didn’t pay for the subscription he just jerked off to my sexy pics, man what a jerk.
by isellfeetpicshmu July 17, 2020
by daniel d, and otherzzz August 29, 2008