assfensive

Something so brutally offensive that, when uttered, the asses of everyone within a 10-foot radius shall implode.

Jason: What a cunt weasel.
Mike: Dude! My ass... it imploded!
Jason: My bad, bro. How assfensive of me!

by WantsToEatOutSaraChong March 29, 2017

Assferg

The shit that gets stuck in your ass hairs when you don’t wipe thoroughly.

I can smell your assferg from here.

by lengcha September 26, 2020

assfeet

A way to describe a theatrical event that is so boring or intolerable, you wish that feet would grow spontaneously from your ass and involuntarily carry you out of the theater, sparing you from having to make the decision yourself.

My boyfriend dragged me to his favorite Broadway show. Let me tell you, it was total assfeet. If I'd had the guts to just stand up and walk out, I would have.

by anonymous August 18, 2022

assfeet

A way to describe a theatrical event that is so boring or intolerable, you wish that feet would grow spontaneously from your ass and involuntarily carry you out of the theater, sparing you from having to make the decision yourself.

My boyfriend dragged me to his favorite Broadway show. Let me tell you, it was total assfeet. If I'd had the guts to just stand up and leave, I would have.

by anonymous August 18, 2022

assfeet

A way to describe a theatrical event that is so boring or intolerable, you wish that feet would grow spontaneously from your ass and involuntarily carry you out of the theater, sparing you from having to make the decision yourself.

My boyfriend dragged me to his favorite Broadway show. Let me tell you, it was total assfeet. If I'd had the guts to just stand up and leave, I would have.

by adpxyz123 September 3, 2022

assequity

Assequity is the mental points your woman accumulates during the course of the relationship. These points accumulate towards the amount of time you would stay in the relationship should the magic box become damaged, or your access to the box is restricted for some unknown illogical reason that manifests in the womans mind.

This woman is about to go negative in assequity, I will have to make other arrangements with one of her girlfriends or just find another.

I have only gotten some 3 times this week, my assequity meter is not advancing.

by tard master August 26, 2009

Asscelerate

What the turtle driver in front of you does once you are able to pass him.

That dude was going 30 on the solid line; when we hit the 4-lane you can bet he's going to asscelerate.

by Badmeeker December 9, 2009