Douche Canoe

A person, usually male, who you wish would row, row, row the fuck away from you.

OMG he is being so obnoxious for no reason, like first he is all nice and I think we will be friends, but now he is just being a douche canoe.

by adidasDUDE August 30, 2025

frenchfry douche

When a bit of poop gets in the douche and the wearer lets the poop keep them company or wrath until doing the inevitable.

BelleMari Frontinac let her butt give her frenchfry douche until she smiled.

by EDONITIYAKANIYA August 31, 2025

Douche flute

Douch flute - funneling vinegar & water into the ladies puss then plunging her rapidly to satisfaction

She was starting to smell fishy so I gave her the douche flute

by StinkyJay January 16, 2025

douche knower

that piece of shit that thinks hes better than you for knowing what a douche is

is a douche a fruit
no its not
ok you douche knower

what is a douche knower

its you dickhead

by the_douche_knower February 1, 2025

Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.

Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.

by Sassenach March 14, 2025

Douche-u-sign

Enhanced pdf for legal documents executed remotely. Implies that the receiver is the last in the chain and is the “douche”. In vogue now during layoffs.

So that was it. A zoom call, accept the terms on douche-u-sign for severance and hit the road.

by SvenTY May 23, 2023

Douche

A kind of douche: a privileged person who doesn't know they're privileged and who thinks in terms of refining a brand for themselves through purchases made with discretionary income. They also adopt and discard opinions in pursuit of their ever evolving brand. One clue to the douche personality: everything they wear is fairly new because they're always tweaking their brand, fiddling with new things they can afford to buy. A douche loves passing tests and going for brass rings, acquiring markers of success. They are self-centered strivers and usually clever and worldly. For them, the world is primarily a place where they can consume and win at status games.

He/She is a classic douche. He/She is only interested in apartments south of 96th St that reflect their success and cleverness and where they can hang out with other douches so they can deplore people's non-pc ideas and feel good about themselves.

by MH1979 June 1, 2023