douchequake

a douche of such tectonic intensity that their douchiness can be measured on the Richter scale.

Phil Simms is such a douche. Yeah, he's a douchequake, yo.

by nme! January 18, 2009

douchegirl

A highly parents-subsidised pretentious paris-hilton-girl with a constant need for attention, negative or positive. The easiest way to get attention for her is to play guys by acting as if she was super-interested in them, while in fact just looking for attention. She is unable to maintain a healthy relationship to the opposite sex, constantly chasing for new guys to mess with and will never stop teasing them. When going out she dresses in a slutty way to maximise the level of attention she gets, trying to attract guys to sexploit or to play with. She tries to lower her victims self-esteem by constant negging and showing off to make her feel better about herself.

She wears expensive cloths/bags/sunglasses/etc, defines herself by other’s material possessions and by the people she got to know during her attention-whore adventures. Though materially well-equipped by birth, she tries to be even "better" than she really is, e.g. by pretending to live in cool cities like London, though this is not true in reality.
Douchegirls should be avoided at all costs by any guy as they just live to try to fuck them over for attention. They pretend to be the happiest girls on the planet, while in fact being among the most empty people on the planet. They tend to be of average intelligence, trying to appear smart in an equally pretentious way as they behave in other parts of their lives. Never get impressed by a douchegirl, as there is nothing behind her ego but emptiness and hot air.

Tall blonde girl neglected by her parents, chasing after guys in clubs.

Typical douchegirl blabla:

To guy: "Say hi to another guy's name for me"
To anyone: -"I had gadget, e.g. blackberry before it was cool"
-"I am friends with all the guys"
-"Most of my friends are guys"
To show off how exclusive she is: "I crashed a guy's Posche Cayenne Turbo S cause I was wearing heels."
To emasculate a guy not acting 100% tough: "Wanna cry?" or "guy's name is quite useless" or any other neg
Complaining: "All the guys are hitting on me" wearing a skirt which could be confused for a belt

by formonkeys January 12, 2011

Douchebagner

a real dick, prick, asshole, and all around unpleasant person.

The dude known as "Douche Bagner" is called that because he's such a douchebagner.

by Shit_4_Brains September 3, 2007

DOUCHEBAGGERY

The act of being, and the official language of the douchebag. Douchebags can be recognized by their Ed Hardy attire, spiky over-gelled hair, spray-on tans, brostaches, failure to wear a shirt over their wife beater, and their strange vernacular. Use of words abbreviated like "legit" (legitimate) "ridic" (ridiculous) "jelly" (jealous, mostly used by the female species of douchebag) and most importantly YOLO (a word too douchey to to even define). They often refer to others of their kind as broski, and end their sentences with "yo".For them, dancing to songs like "gangnam style" and Ii'm sexy and I know it" is serious business, as they seem to believe they have "moves like Jagger". Often found in Jersey, douchebags are to be avoided at all cost. If, however, one finds themself unavoidably interacting with a douchebag it is recommended you use long words and DO NOT look directly at them. Prolonged exposure to douchebags has been known to cause douchebaggery in others. Run, fast and far, from a douchebag.

conversation spoken in douchebaggery

mike--hey broski, wanna hit the bar tonight? i heard the bitches are gonna be legit ridic down there tonight yo (rubs fake-tanned arms) and i am looking FRESH (checks out roided muscles in nearby window)

brad--yeah, brah, i can't wait to get my grind on some skanks. (he checks out roided muscles in nearby window) damn i'm swoled up yo, it's wife beater time for sure tonight yo.

tj--YOLO bros!!!

mike, brad & tj--YOLO!!!

by the stank pit January 12, 2013

douchenometry

a lesser known branch of mathematics that studies douchebags. Douchenometry deals with the relationship between the modern day douchebag and doucheassery.

Douchenometry should be a mandatory prerequisite class prior to working at any Ed Hardy clothing store.

sample theories
1. douchebagA + douchebagB = 2 too many douchebags in one area
2. The shortest distance between two douchebags is always the other direction

by pendergastastic September 7, 2010

douchemuffin

same meaning as the word douchebag but has more zip and playfulness

Boss: Lowly Unpaid Intern,get my coffee and it better be here soon or else you'll be looking in the paper for a new job while living in a cardboard box {leaves room}

Receptionist: That dude's an asswipe

Intern: No,he's a total douchemuffin

by Blair_Mowry_Grant January 22, 2012

Douchebag Acoustic

The genre of music played by guys who never learned to actually play guitar, usually consisting of three chords and with lyrics about how sensitive they are and how much they love someone they just met (i.e. Justin Bieber)

Man 1: How the hell does he get all the chicks, he's terrible.
Man 2: It's because he plays a douchebag acoustic.

Man 1: Hey, I just learned how to play "Hey there Delilah"
Man 2: Congratulations, you've mastered the douchebag acoustic, now get out of my house, we can no longer be friends

by Boureö August 30, 2010