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The Jesus

What to say when you find anything vaguely cross-shaped absolutely anywhere, for any reason, and in any situation.
Yo bro! I just found The Jesus on this tree!
by KingFisherOE April 16, 2023
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Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
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Deviled Jesus

It's kind of like a deviled crab, but it's a Jesus with crab claws. You can also spell out the name of Jesus on a plate of deviled eggs for a similar comparison.
"This is the Church of Satanic Jesus. Let me hear it for Deviled Jesus! Can I get a BOOM SHAKALAKA?"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO May 5, 2023
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Ex Jesus

Alex cut his long hair so now he’s ex jesus
by Starbellied July 30, 2023
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Lord Jesus

The way, the truth, and the life, and no one goes to the father except through confessing that Jesus is Lord, and believing in your heart that God raised him from the dead.
Lord Jesus will do good to you, Because he is the Lord.
by rimnuthefolf September 7, 2023
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Jetway Jesus

A mythical figure colloquially known in the airline industry believed to miraculously 'heal' passengers who request wheelchairs or any other form of mobility assistance at their point of departure but mysteriously no longer need it upon their arrival. The sudden recovery is often attributed to the miraculous intervention of 'Jetway Jesus'. The term reflects the cynical humor often employed by airline employees due to the perceived misuse of accessibility services by able-bodied passengers.
After helping a passenger in a wheelchair onto the plane, I was surprised to see her walk off unassisted at the destination. Looks like we've had another visit from Jetway Jesus.
by HappyCleaner82 November 21, 2023
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Gabriel Jesus Camacho Espinoza De La Santisima Trinidad

He is very un intelligent but really smart. He's a nice person and he's autistic with us. He's short, Mexican, and says stuff out of no where
Im talking about the short Gabriel. You know, Gabriel Jesus Camacho Espinoza De La Santisima Trinidad.
by bruh idk. im not einstien December 5, 2023
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