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The schlong of destiny

The drunken schlong masters enormous schlong.
The schlong of destiny shall strike fear into the ovaries of our enemies
by The Drunken Schlong Master January 28, 2025
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Obi-Schlong Kanobi

A legendary figure known for his mystical presence and extraordinary "force" hidden beneath a pair of loose sweatpants.

Often spotted in public with a confident stride, effortlessly wielding his undeniable presence.
A man whose schlong is so disproportionately long that it creates an unmistakable bulge, even in the baggiest of sweatpants.

Myth has it that he doesn’t sit—he perches.
A term used to describe someone who walks around like they have a third leg, with the confidence of a Jedi master.

"Bro walked into the room like Obi-Slan Kenobi—dude’s sweatpants weren’t hiding anything."
A name bestowed upon those who possess legendary stamina and undeniable gravitational pull in social settings.

Women sense his presence before he even speaks.
An urban myth, rumored to have inspired the phrase ‘May the Force be with you,’ but in this case, the ‘Force’ refers to something else entirely.

Synonyms:

The Sweatpant Jedi
Master Meat-Wielder
The Schlong Shogun
Force-Wielder XXL

Usage in a Sentence:

"That guy at the gym isn't even lifting, just walking around like Obi-Slan Kenobi with those gray sweatpants on."

"Saw some dude at the mall, full Obi-Slan Kenobi mode—felt like I needed to bow in respect."

May the girth be with you.
"Bro walked into the room like Obi-Schlong Kanobi—dude’s sweatpants weren’t hiding anything."

"That guy at the gym isn't even lifting, just walking around like Obi-Schlong Kanobi with those gray sweatpants on."

"Saw some dude at the mall, full Obi-Schlong Kanobi mode—felt like I needed to bow in respect."
by Jaban1 February 14, 2025
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Bombastic Schlong

Dave: Bro did you hear about Dylan’s bombastic schlong? It’s humongous!
Ricky:Can I try it?
by DylDyl69 June 25, 2024
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Dim Schlong Sum

1: Another name for the crazy ass preso of Northey Kooreea

2: Any random asian dictator
That fucking chinese guy is such a Dim Schlong Sum
by younggong May 16, 2025
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Ricky Schlong

Refers to someone who has a horse size third leg, that instantly attracts the attention of all the girls around them
Jake is such a ricky schlong you can't compete once he enters the room, all eyes are on him.
by Postopia11 May 23, 2025
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Patong Schlong

A dirty poo covered bell end usually obtained from a seedy night out with a ladyboy in the brothels of Thailand.
By Jove Nicholls!! I woke up this morning with the most god awful patong schlong!! I have no memory of last night’s shenanigans!!
by Befferson 2 June 10, 2025
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Short Story Schlong

A phrase used to express that your penis came fast. Usually to make a disappointing vibe a bit livelier.
*Sexual Intercourse finished early*
*Man looks toward penis in disappointment*
Man: "Short Story Schlong!"
*Woman laughs*
by xWhatDa December 16, 2022
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