Fact of the Matter

Phrase used by morons to transition from one confusing sentence clause to another. Often used when said moron has absolutely no clue what he or she is speaking about and is engaged in an argumentative conversion. When properly used, the moron--through his own stupidity--renders his conversing opponent speechless and effectively ends the conversation. Consequentially, the moron now believes he is smart and begins to use the phrase more often; making everyone who knows the moron hate him and dread talking to him.

reasonably intelligent person: "The consensus among dietitians is that you should eat solid food and that a diet consisting of mere protein shakes is a crash diet that cannot be sustained for long-term, healthy weight loss."

moron: "Well, I am no scientist and I sure as hell won't be called Tom Cruise, but the fact of the matter is I've lost ten pounds in two weeks on my shake diet and its totally kick ass. Do you even realize that I put ice in the shake and its a solid?"

reasonable intelligent person: "You are a moron"

by how to talk to idiots March 5, 2011

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Dark Matterhorn

A dark turd that is so long it curls up above the water and back down like a long rams horn.

Dude your not going to believe the Dark Matterhorn I laid last night!

What? Niiice! You dog! Who was it some european chick you picked up?

No you dolt!! It was a huge horn like turd I laid in the poop pot!

What? No way?! Dude, next time take a picture!!

by minuccp July 1, 2011

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