Hipster mathematics, sometimes shortened to "hipster math", is a type of mathematics inherent to the lifestyle of hipsters. Hipster math does not follow the rules of the classical mathematics established by trained mathematicians and taught in schools. In this sense, hipster math is a form of "experimental" or "quantum" mathematics.
For example, it is well understood in classical mathematics that if a bank account contains a finite amount of funds, then the combination of having no fixed income with repeatedly withdrawing money from said bank account to finance lattes, flat whites, tighter and tighter jeans, Tom's shoes, outrageous sunglasses, the latest iPhone, ironic cigarettes, and obscure art magazines will eventually produce a zero or even negative balance. However, even hipsters with absolutely no income whatsoever (i.e. hipsters without even a token job at a video rental shop or as a barista) are able to continually and indefinitely finance such frivolities. Another interesting aspect of hipster math is that whenever you think you have counted all the hipsters in an urban park, there are always at least three or four more lurking about that somehow escaped the count, despite the fact that they are strumming guitars and singing loudly and are clearly visible in vibrant hipster uniforms.
For example, it is well understood in classical mathematics that if a bank account contains a finite amount of funds, then the combination of having no fixed income with repeatedly withdrawing money from said bank account to finance lattes, flat whites, tighter and tighter jeans, Tom's shoes, outrageous sunglasses, the latest iPhone, ironic cigarettes, and obscure art magazines will eventually produce a zero or even negative balance. However, even hipsters with absolutely no income whatsoever (i.e. hipsters without even a token job at a video rental shop or as a barista) are able to continually and indefinitely finance such frivolities. Another interesting aspect of hipster math is that whenever you think you have counted all the hipsters in an urban park, there are always at least three or four more lurking about that somehow escaped the count, despite the fact that they are strumming guitars and singing loudly and are clearly visible in vibrant hipster uniforms.
"Dude, I think I have seen the same hipster going into that gentrified greasy spoon every night to chow down on a grilled cheese + lobster sandwich, crinkle-cut sweet potato fries, and an ethically-sourced lingonberry milkshake while listening to The Kooks in his Beats headphones and simultaneously scanning Pitchfork and a Henry James novel. He follows it all up with a latte macchiato and four or five Peruvian-chocolate-topped sheeps' butter biscotti. How is he losing weight instead of gaining it?"
"Don't worry about it, man. It's just hipster math."
"Don't worry about it, man. It's just hipster math."
by hipster_of_the_month May 07, 2013
Guy1: bye got to do hegarty maths
Guy2: same my teacher set me 5 MORE TASKS BECAUSE I DONE THEM IN 1 MINUTE!!
Guy2: same my teacher set me 5 MORE TASKS BECAUSE I DONE THEM IN 1 MINUTE!!
by Hegarty maths hater April 06, 2019
A fucking subject where you need almost 90% of your brain to understand the whole textbook (not to mention this only apply to rick and morty fangays).
*Add Maths teacher comes in* everyone's status, dead, except for r&n fans whose iq is way higher than the others
by N4th January 09, 2018
by lord_farquaads_left_nostril October 15, 2022
Doing the maths relating to an upcoming exam, with 2 possible motivations:
1. To scare yourself into realising you don't have long left to revise and look over stuff.... or
2. To deliberately waste the time you could be using way more productively
These may well combine....
1. To scare yourself into realising you don't have long left to revise and look over stuff.... or
2. To deliberately waste the time you could be using way more productively
These may well combine....
C: Sh*t i just worked out that I have 20 working hours til my exam in 3 days.... taking out the time I need to sleep, eat, gym, shop, fb, tweet, email, hang out, watch TV.... its even less if I want to shower too!
R: You do realise you spent 3 hours working on that exam maths....
---
C: Cr*p I just did some exam maths and realised I need to get at least 62/100 for this exam, because theres no way Im going to get above 48 in that other one, and my coursework would only be a 59 at best... although that only counted for 40% so weighted its like a 65 or something...
R: Do some work.
R: You do realise you spent 3 hours working on that exam maths....
---
C: Cr*p I just did some exam maths and realised I need to get at least 62/100 for this exam, because theres no way Im going to get above 48 in that other one, and my coursework would only be a 59 at best... although that only counted for 40% so weighted its like a 65 or something...
R: Do some work.
by RStokesy May 31, 2009
A male or female teacher who makes your life a living hell, ruins your year, and smiles at you while doing it.
Student: Bruh my math teacher just ruined my life.
Teacher: Im giving extra homework to all talkers.
Student: Fuck.
Teacher: Im giving extra homework to all talkers.
Student: Fuck.
by Bbg_Shae September 18, 2019
mATHS/Meth :)
Teacher: Math is a spiral
Teacher: *draws a spiral on the blackboard*
Students: will you shut up
Students: this is as bad as meth
Teacher: Math is a spiral
Teacher: *draws a spiral on the blackboard*
Students: will you shut up
Students: this is as bad as meth
by Anonymous_ew January 26, 2019