cooked books

(n.) Incorrect accounts, where the values of work done is understated so that income taation is lower. Could also mean exploiting loopholes, which isn't illegal. See also cook the books

Sorry, Terry. He got caught putting his signature on cooked books and he had to fire him.

by Kung-Fu Jesus July 21, 2004

home cooking

As a desperation move, the act of hooking up with a member of one's own group of friends because of inability to close with any new girl or guy.

Adam went for some of Caroline's home cooking after striking out at the bar last night.

by home cooker February 6, 2012

Pressure Cooking

The act up squeezing your dick in class without your hands, so you can satisfy yourself in secret.

Friend: Dude, why are you so relaxed all the time.
You: Because, my day includes regular acts of pressure cooking
Friend: What!?
You: You Know, I squeeze my dick between my legs to satisfy myself.

by gooeylooey November 20, 2016

Dr. Cook

The action of becoming so angry that one's spine curls into a position where the head can enter the anus. There is a certain nomadic tribe in the frozen deserts of western Mongolia that performs the ancient ritual regularly every Thursday if the weather allows for it.

Guy 1: Bro, I just pissed my dad off so bad that he did a Dr. Cook!

Guy 2: Ok, I'm calling an ambulance right now.

Guy 1: Well shit!

by Bromancuh52 December 31, 2011

cooked hard

Cooking something to a point of being extra crispy.

I want my wings cooked hard.

by Baddison December 5, 2010

cooked smug

to be cooked medium-rare. a well-known phrase in backwoods waffle house locations in the southern US.

Pauline: "Order up, Table 7 wants their steak cooked smug!"
Chef: "An aristocrat, are they?"

by marblecakealsothegame13 December 13, 2018

cooks branch

When you suffer severe pain from an injury to the balls.

"Mike got kicked in the balls by someone the other day. Worst case of cooks branch I've seen."

by gobbler945 October 6, 2023