John Key 

John Key is the leader of the New Zealand National Party, currently the party in opposition. Currently despite being inexperienced, and despite allegations of misleading the public over the true policies that the National Party would implement once in government (such as privatisation and the cutting of social spending) he is enjoying some popularity within the New Zealand public. Thus, his name lends to the unfortunate situation where a person can convince a large amount of people (in some cases, nation-states) that they are an 'all right guy' and are 'sympathetic to ordinary people' despite evidence to the contrary (in terms of their hidden policies) that would suggest that they are putting on a facade.

Person A: Where did all this terrible policy come from! Why has unemployment gone up? I thought (insert politican's name here) was a nice guy!

Person B: Oh dear, you fell for the classic John Key trick!

John Key by BarnabusWh July 16, 2007

john thomas 

a soft pretzel, or penis

one jizzy johnny t, please!!
one jizzy john thomas

john thomas by rainy night September 30, 2007

John McCain

See fascist.

Person 1: Are you voting for John McCain?
Person 2: Hell no!

John McCain by Dfemms October 18, 2008

Walton & Johnson 

A radio programme by two self-proclaimed eunuchs from Houston; Walton and Johnson are the main performers for the "Walton & Johnson Show". They perform voices for other very original characters, such as a homosexual man and a militant black man. During the show, they frequently discuss politics, mainly to incite the listeners, of which most are middle-class suburban, Whataburger-eating rednecks. Listeners vary though, and can range from frustrated, secretely gay republican students to intolerant racist plumbers, but most are fearful of 'unwelcome, disease-carrying, gun-toting' minorities. Much effort is put into the characters, and, interestingly, all characters voice conservative opinions like the performers, or radical liberal opinions, to further provoke the hillbillies. Loyal listeners call themselves "ten percenters", proud of the fact that they understand the 'brilliant logic' of the show, and that they are able to understand words formed into sentences.

-Curtis, do you listen to the Walton & Johnson show?
-Why, yes, Travis, I do. After all, I am a fat, intolerant, ingnorant, imbecile redneck lump! How could i not?

Walton & Johnson by C. Duanh January 3, 2009

Gary Johnson 

A sexual position for two male partners, a variant of scissoring. In this position the partners scissor while facing in almost opposite directions, allowing each partner to penetrate the others anus simultaneously. This position can be very intense and satisfying. It can also be very tiring. Great care must be taken to protect each partners ballsack and avoid them being crushed during thrusts. Generally the free hand not used to support you weight should be used to keep your ballsack to one side away from the crush zone.

Oh my God, Jake fucking crushed my balls last night. We were Gary Johnsoning really hard and it was great, but then he twisted his hips and smashed right into the jewels. I nearly passed out. I couldn't even enjoy a blowjob after that. I had to smoke a ton of reefer just to calm down. Now I have blue balls and bruised balls. I mean seriously, this is the last time I put up with this. Jake's got one more chance and then I'm going to break up with him and find a man that actually knows how to fuck.

Gary Johnson by ProlapsedDickhole November 25, 2016

John Brown 

Having a family member related to you in more than one way.

"That boy right there is my cousin-nephew."
"What kind of John Brown shit is that?"

John Brown by Hockeyfan28 August 11, 2009

John Lennon 

GOD.

John Lennon is god. He is bigger then Jesus.

John Lennon by iamthewalrus99 November 8, 2009