Leon and Jesus

Leon and Jesus will be going on their first date today (December 20th, 2023) at the mall. A Leon will arrive exactly at 5:00 PM, not wanting to pardon his lady. Leons are the type of guys who are very gentleman-like and are extremely loyal to their partners. Their are also very highly intelligent and knows when someone tries to take advantage of them.

He doesn't allow cheaters in his life and he is not a simp to be with a woman that has a boyfriend, especially her boyfriend thug. Leon unfortunately has a crazy woman who loves Satan and is a massive control-freak, but his girlfriend Jesus Christ will knock the shit out of her to eternal hell, Jesus being extremely loyal to Leon her boyfriend.

A Leon is very lucky to have such a loyal girlfriend like Jesus that accepts him for who he is, never tried to control him in a manipulative matter, and loves him with unconditional love. That crazy woman with children is an unfaithful, lying, decitful, devil-worshipping, cheating, control racist loser that will literally be with Leon to avoid going to hell. But the prophecy is already written that Leon's girlfriend will punch her to eternal hell forever.

A Leon is a very lucky man to have Jesus Christ in his life.

Leon and Jesus forever in love. No one can separate each other, not even that wicked crazy witch and her equally crazy thug boyfriend.

May God bless them!

by LebanonJames December 19, 2023

Dirty Pirate Jesus

When a man is receiving oral, and just before he ejaculates, he pulls his member from her throat(or mouth) and nuts in her eye, similar to an Angry Pirate, but then shouts "May the Power of Christ Compel You!" And does the cross hand motions(head, genitals, left then right shoulders) and hits her with the V8 forehead palm-tap, causing her to stumble and fall backwards.

Janice thought she was about to swallow Tom's huge load, but instead found herself in a staredown with Dirty Pirate Jesus as Tom ran off maniacally giggling about "Exercising Hoe Demons"

by Captain Snackpack January 3, 2024

testing my Jesus

When someone pisses you off due to their rude, or otherwise bad behavior, and you begin to lose faith in humanity, that person is testing my Jesus

Can you believe Monica? I babysat her cat, picked her up from the airport, and took her to the mall when her car was dead - but when I need a favor, and I wouldn't really call it a favor if she's my bestie, she disappears like a cockroach when the lights come on. Friends like that be testing my Jesus.

by Siouxsie Supertramp November 20, 2023

The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique

Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?

Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"

by Hym Iam November 23, 2023

testing my Jesus

When someone gets on your nerves, and your anger disproportionate to the situation at times, is testing your Jesus.

If my boss doesn't understand the company policy that he wrote, well, he's just really testing my Jesus.

by Siouxise Eileen November 30, 2023

Six Flags Over Jesus

A really big church.

I go to church at Six Flags Over Jesus.

by SB018 March 16, 2024

João De Jesus

João De Jesus is the most amazing person you'll ever meet, when he comes into your life he will be ur highest point and only take you higher. He has a 11 incher and going strong, He's caring and the sweetestperson you'll ever meet, curious about the world and all the cultures and histories and fucken smexxxxy in a hoodie. Has multiple pink florida shorts and even though he acts gay and retared he isn't ( the game part), he loles to work on himslef and fet better and gives back to the community, may or may not be racists, he comforts well and is understanding

He has a beautiful soul and a beautiful at of seeing life and will open u up so many new experiences, he will be the best thing that will ever happen to you.

Jack : " if João De Jesus was gay id hit that"
Bob : " nah he's just a little dyslexic, but he's the best person you'll ever know"

by He's my world March 27, 2024