The act of wanking to the beat of rap god and snorting cocaine off your step-Gammy’s sweaty ass crack
by DirtyGoblinReceiver69 December 14, 2019
Get the Sweaty Wanker mug.Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
by JayWon April 21, 2017
Get the Phone Wanker mug.Book wanker -
A person who spunks their pants while presenting lore from books they’ve read (half read) when engaged in conversation with people who talk about a tv show/film they’ve watched that neither asked for nor care about the tedious facts they are being lambasted with.
A person who spunks their pants while presenting lore from books they’ve read (half read) when engaged in conversation with people who talk about a tv show/film they’ve watched that neither asked for nor care about the tedious facts they are being lambasted with.
Me - “In Game of thrones I can’t remember wolf wifey’s name”
Book wanker - “Red hair, Sansa?”
Me - “no, her mum”
Book wanker - “fish wifey?”
Me - “no, Neds wife. The starks. They’re dire wolves no?”
Book wanker - “actually she’s a Tully, their emblem is a fish. I know this because I read the books”
Me - “ you’re a book wanker”
Book wanker - “Red hair, Sansa?”
Me - “no, her mum”
Book wanker - “fish wifey?”
Me - “no, Neds wife. The starks. They’re dire wolves no?”
Book wanker - “actually she’s a Tully, their emblem is a fish. I know this because I read the books”
Me - “ you’re a book wanker”
by Ghostraininmofo May 14, 2019
Get the book wanker mug.Typically found in groups, people who go to music festivals and set up near the stage with deckchairs, inflatable sofas or picnic blankets and expect everyone to leave a big gap around them. Often can be found not even using aforementioned items.
by Wighteggy June 12, 2019
Get the chair wanker mug.For those Indian and Pakistani individuals with the exact same haircut (short back & sides with a quiff) who drive around in their fathers BMW and say either "bro" or "innit" after every sentence.
They also go to Mooch on Broad St every Friday night with money they borrowed from their grandparents.
They also go to Mooch on Broad St every Friday night with money they borrowed from their grandparents.
by KingOfEverythingAskWiz April 14, 2016
Get the Mooch Wanker mug.A male that jerks off incessantly. His masturbatory activities are on a level that is so large in scale and scope it’s well beyond your average male that gives it an occasional tug.
Dude you are such a macro wanker. Do you ever not watch porn and wank? Do you ever leave your room?
My roommate was a macro wanker. I could always hear him but rarely ever saw him.
My porn addiction has turned me into a macro wanker.
My roommate was a macro wanker. I could always hear him but rarely ever saw him.
My porn addiction has turned me into a macro wanker.
by Dick Onchin September 27, 2020
Get the Macro Wanker mug.A part-time vegan but a full time wanker.
You want to be a meditating, creative, yogi with the strength and flexibility of Ghandi and BOY do you tell people about it. But you are constantly failing.
You definitely do yoga, and let everyone know about it through all available social media and by literally hollering it down the street while riding your fixie bike.
You film yourself doing yoga, the morning after a heavy binge session where you danced on the bar and went home with your friends little brother.
It's all in the juxtaposition of aiming high... and falling so low.
You want to be a meditating, creative, yogi with the strength and flexibility of Ghandi and BOY do you tell people about it. But you are constantly failing.
You definitely do yoga, and let everyone know about it through all available social media and by literally hollering it down the street while riding your fixie bike.
You film yourself doing yoga, the morning after a heavy binge session where you danced on the bar and went home with your friends little brother.
It's all in the juxtaposition of aiming high... and falling so low.
This morning I saw Fiona and she was telling me about this organic, sustainable farm she's working on this summer to learn about health conscious and mindful, vegan food production. Then I spotted her later from afar and she was inhaling a full family size packet of crisps. She's such a Vegan Wanker
by Vegan Wanker November 7, 2015
Get the Vegan Wanker mug.