Definitions by Wighteggy

cockspangle 

Someone at the lower end of the intelligence spectrum, prone to making stupid remarks and assertions either in person or often online.

Only an absolute cockspangle would think Nigel Farage should be a Member of Parliament.

cockspangle by Wighteggy August 7, 2023

Full Uniform Wanker 

Someone seen outside their normal work environment wearing their full uniform. Example - a Prison Officer spotted in a shop openly wearing their epaulettes and with key chain swinging freely. Does not apply to anyone who at least makes an effort to disguise their uniform eg by wearing a civilian coat.

I was in ALDI this afternoon and saw a Full Uniform Wanker doing their shopping. And they’re not even on duty til nine tonight.

Full Uniform Wanker by Wighteggy November 12, 2019

chair wanker 

Typically found in groups, people who go to music festivals and set up near the stage with deckchairs, inflatable sofas or picnic blankets and expect everyone to leave a big gap around them. Often can be found not even using aforementioned items.

"Hey did you enjoy the Isle of Wight Festival?"
"Sure, but there was chair wankers everywhere!"

chair wanker by Wighteggy June 12, 2019