After a few days/weeks or sometimes months of being unable to find yourself in a situation where you can masterbate, It will be paramount for your health and well-being to have a king wank or as some say, a King Wankathon. A king wank consists of multiple back to back wanks (sometimes hitting double figures). After you’ve completed this task you will need an armchair to sit and to rest your arms like a king would on his thrown. As a bonus while performing the act you get a ‘no one can touch me right now’ kind of feel whilst the dopamine courses through your veins.
Where’s Tom? Oh that’s right he was staying at his parents house for the last few days, he must have had a king wank when he got home, he’d be fast asleep, ‘All hail king Tom’.
by King wank July 31, 2019
Get the King Wankmug. n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."
I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!
by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 5, 2010
Get the Quantum Wankmug. A mitten used to aid masturbation. Often knitted from wool. A posh alternative to the wank sock.
Available in male and female flavours.
Available in male and female flavours.
Tobias, my mom just found one of my wank socks and put her hand inside it!", "Dude, you really need to buy a wank mit, they're washable too
by WankMit April 13, 2011
Get the Wank Mitmug. by TeddyBazz December 9, 2015
Get the Wank Camelmug. Wanking casually, usually when a person wanks whilst talking to a friend and having a generally good time. Often happens at social gatherings
by JakeCookieee August 29, 2015
Get the Casual Wankmug. To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.
Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?
son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.
Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.
son: thank you father.
son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.
Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.
son: thank you father.
by Dasten June 2, 2014
Get the noble wankmug. Shaun liked nothing better than a Romantic Wank after a long day at the office. Put on some Barry White run a hot bath light some candles and charm the snake while getting freaky like Grace Jones until bed time.
by PoOpa FoOker March 23, 2016
Get the romantic wankmug.