Absolut Value

The value of one's weight in absolut vodka. Multiply weight in lbs by 14.08 (Absolut vodka is roughly 88 cents per ounce).

"See that girl over there, the really skinny one?"
"Oh shit! She is so fucking skinny."
"I bet her absolut value is only 1300"
"I'd say 1200."
"Shiiet."

absolute value absolute vodka absolut vodka

by bennydre April 30, 2013

absolute andrew

A kind of cocktail.

"Hey did you try Absolute Andrew?"
"Nah man, I prefer Absolute Ashley."

by Hola213 December 7, 2013

absolute mess

when one is found in a state of paralysis, vomit stains on their clothing and an elastic band placed around the head as a chin strap.

the male version tends to have their rod protruding from the zip area of the lower garments.

'I seen your man (TQ) in an absolute mess outside the bar on Sunday'

by jamiej13 May 28, 2014

absolutely wanked

A term used to mean 'drunk' used accidentally as opposed to 'absolutely wankered' when someone is trying to describe their state of drunkness... whilst drunk.

"Ere Billy come up mine tonight pal, yeah?"
"Sos m8 absolutely wanked on pimms ygm lad"

by FuckinBlazeItM8 October 29, 2015

absolutely louis walshed

When you fall over spectacularly.

"I absolutely louis walshed myself off my bike on the way to school today".

by :S:S:S:S:S: May 21, 2016

Absolute Gimp

Used by someone who listens to underground music against someone who has a poor taste in music, and is overly annoying on social media.

e.g. Dave - 'Did you see what he posted on facebook about loving Martin Garrix and not underground music'
Ross - 'Yeah what an absolute gimp mate'

by discobiscuit21 June 22, 2017

Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 25, 2017