spunk monkey

A girl who craves some sperm in her face. If she's lucky, she'll also get a some in her hair.

I blew it all over that spunk monkey's face. Holy shit it was awesome!

by JamJam1 November 7, 2012

skewered spider monkey

A woman who has suffered vaginal tearing through sexual intercourse. This can also occur to gay men with torn sphincters.

Dude, I accidently made her a skewered spider monkey last night. It was worth it though

by adfsafewqg February 19, 2008

Choke the monkey

Take a massive crap. Seriously, the crap is so big that it could choke a monkey. And that monkey would be dead.

"Dude, I can't hang right now. I've gotta choke the monkey."

"Way to much information, man..."

by Sven-Detlev November 18, 2009

Purple Dishwasher Monkey

Useful Insult, particulary useful when a slur of any kind will get you into deep !%#% (like when you are talking to someone of another race/creed/religion/sex)
If the person takes offense and reports you they will "just look a bit mad".

Annoying useless whinger: "You have no taste, not even a dog would go out with you" OR "You wanker, arsehole, drug pushing pimp, skank"
You: "Shut-up you Purple Dishwasher Monkey"
Annoying useless whinger: "I hate you... (thinking) how dare you call me that... (thinking really hard, you have left by now)... what did they say?"

by well read March 25, 2005

Jizz Monkey

A person who is known to masturbate frequently, and is also and idiot, who is often unattractive like a primate, thus the "monkey". Other wise known as a freak

Jizzmonkey- I screwed myself over your milf last night
Guy- Ow thats disgusting you ugly Jizz Monkey!

by FailWinner October 10, 2009

Tree monkey

Woman of questionable looks....Including but not constrained to any of the following facial/body issues; hair in facial regions more commonly known to the male gender, longer then average wingspan, hair on small of back etc

Damn dude you didnt go home w/ that hairy ass tree monkey last night did you?

by Dj Frydae May 28, 2006

Monkeybath

A bath that is so hot that when you sit down in it you go 'Ooh ooh ooh ah ah ah'.

I had a filthy day at work yesterday, so much so that I had to go for a monkeybath

by Geordie Paraguay-Remain September 14, 2010