Definitions by Sven-Detlev

Choke the monkey 

Take a massive crap. Seriously, the crap is so big that it could choke a monkey. And that monkey would be dead.

"Dude, I can't hang right now. I've gotta choke the monkey."

"Way to much information, man..."

Choke the monkey by Sven-Detlev November 18, 2009

polychromatophilia

Some big, fancy, East-coast word for a fabric fetish. Polychromatophilists are a strange group of people that have sexual urges towards fabric. Typically, this manifests in women and can lead to a clothes-shopping addiction. A peculiar side-effect is that the afflicted woman's boyfriend typically has Disappearing Money Syndrome.

"Jeff, why the fuck can't you go bowling today?"

"My girl is a polychromatophilist, and my money disappears."

"Oh wow, polychromatophilia is a tough disease. Good luck man."

polychromatophilia by Sven-Detlev November 18, 2009

The First Law of Conversation 

The First Law of Conversation (abbr. FLOC) states that one will always tune into a conversation at the most awkward point. Many linguists believe that this is God's punishment for eavesdropping.

"...And, on top of that, I had to go take my wang out of the tub drain!"
"What are you guys talking about?!"
"Oh, you just proved the First Law of Conversation, bitch!"

The First Law of Conversation by Sven-Detlev October 30, 2009

Pinecone 

To hit someone with a large object in an accidental manner.

Baseball player: "Have you heard about Randy McCormick?"
Coach: "The guy that got pineconed by a pitch?"
Baseball player: "Yeah. I wonder if he's out of the ICU."

Pinecone by Sven-Detlev September 8, 2009

Poke-your-mom 

A variation on the pronunciation of Pokemon, supposedly used in a satirical manner, but this has not been proven. Often used by total douches who have nothing better to do.

Douche: "Let's play Poke-your-mom!"

Guy: "Howzabout I punch you until you bleed?"

Poke-your-mom by Sven-Detlev September 8, 2009